life glimpse

whether we like it or not...

2012-01-18T08:14:00.002-05:00

It's a new year. The time for resolutions to be made, or renewed, or resurrected from the recesses of our mind where they died about 3 weeks into the beginning of last year.

I myself chose to be a little more proactive in reading Scripture on a daily basis. There are days where I have plenty of time, can sit with the Lord, and really enjoy my time in His word. But, there are other days where I am running around, busy, and my plate feels a little too full. Those are the days that it gets hard for me to crack open my Bible and spend good time with Him.

So, in an attempt to be better at this (and not so I can feel good about myself and call myself a good little Christian, but so I can keep my sanity and stay grounded in truth throughout my day), I have signed up for some daily readings to be sent to my email, in hopes that it would give me some consistency and some guidance.

So, this first batch of readings is focused on prayer, and the other day the passage was from Jeremiah 42. God's people are asking Jeremiah to talk to God on their behalf; they want to ask God for direction, for what to do next.

Verses 4-6 go like this (from the Message):

⁴Jeremiah the prophet said, "I hear your request. And I will pray to your God as you have asked. Whatever God says, I'll pass on to you. I'll tell you everything, holding nothing back."

^5-6They said to Jeremiah, "Let God be our witness, a true and faithful witness against us, if we don't do everything that your God directs you to tell us. Whether we like it or not, we'll do it. We'll obey whatever our God tells us. Yes, count on us. We'll do it."

I read this part, and I'm like, "hey, that's awesome."

Then, I finish the chapter. And the next. Wow.

So, long story short, Jeremiah prays to God, 10 days later, God answers. And it is not the answer the people want to hear. So what do they do? They call Jeremiah a liar and pursue their own way, despite the fact that God warned them about what would happen if they didn't listen to Him.

So as I thought about this, I thought to myself, "How many times have I sat before the Lord, asking for wisdom, discernment, or direction, claiming with my mouth that 'no matter what, whether I like it or not', I'm willing to do what He asks, then I go ahead and choose my own way when I don't like the response?"

Probably more times than I'd like to admit to. It doesn't even have to be something like this story, where He says "dont go here" and I do it anyway. I can choose my own way by continuing to worry about something He's offered to carry for me. Or I can continue to doubt that something will (or won't) happen despite hearing Him say, "I got this one under control."

Going back to Jeremiah, what kills me about this particular story is the message that the Israelites reject. It's not like God said, "Hey guys, you need to suffer a lot, so I am going to make sure the King of Babylon never lets you into your land, and he's probably going to be pretty harsh with you guys, too". THIS is what they rejected (v.9-12):

^9-12He then spoke: "This is the Message from God, the God of Israel, to whom you sent me to present your prayer. He says, 'If you are ready to stick it out in this land, I will build you up and not drag you down, I will plant you and not pull you up like a weed. I feel deep compassion on account of the doom I have visited on you. You don't have to fear the king of Babylon. Your fears are for nothing. I'm on your side, ready to save and deliver you from anything he might do. I'll pour mercy on you. What's more, he will show you mercy! He'll let you come back to your very own land.'

These guys were rejecting promises of protection, provision, and another chance to choose faithfulness and reap the rewards of it. All because, frankly, they weren't ready to "stick it out" like God said. It wasn't what they had in mind. It didn't fit their plan, their idea of how things should pan out, etc. Their hearts were already set on their own way before God ever gave an answer.

Sometimes, the truth of the matter is I am just not ready to "stick it out"; I have my own idea of how my life should be going. It could be something on a smaller scale, like sticking with a workout regiment or healthy eating (because that requires discipline and, heaven forbid, I have to deny MYSELF! sheesh!). It could be on a bigger scale, like sticking it out with living as a foreigner day after day, coming up against all the things that can rub me the wrong way about this culture, this language, this spiritually dark place. I admit that more than once I've approached the Lord with an appearance of humility, asking for help and direction, yet I'm fooling no one - not even myself.

Thankfully, His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. When I have seasons where the "self" is rearing it's ugly head more than I care to see, I feel His gentle nudges of conviction and truth, guiding me to a right heart with Him. If I am praying for wisdom - if I am asking my Maker, the one who set this whole world in motion - for guidance, then chances are His answers will be for my good. I might not like them - I might want to do what the Israelites did and throw a tantrum, saying "no way, that can't be right" - but I can trust them.

And trusting Him is exactly what I need to do the most. There are plenty of things for me to be praying for these days. There are hopes, dreams, problems, heartaches, and brokenness abounding in my prayer life. I pray that I will trust His leading and follow through on it, whether it's:

comfortable
convenient
easy
what I wanted to hear

or whether it's:

stretching
inconvenient
difficult
humbling

I want to be able to speak, without hesitation, "Count on me, whatever You say, I'll do". Because ultimately the Lord is growing me, maturing me into a daughter who looks more like her Kingly Father each day. So here's to looking less like a tantrum-throwing-back-in-the-day Israelite, and more like a where-He-leads-I-will-follow daughter.

2011 Recap

2011-12-31T04:07:00.007-05:00

It's New Year's Eve. Tonight we'll be playing games and waiting for the arrival of a brand new year. I have learned that you never know what will come with a new year. There have been plenty of moments where I wait expectantly for something at the beginning of a new year, thinking "THIS will be the year...", only to find myself at the end of that year wondering why things didn't change or come to be in the way I had thought they would. On the flip side, there have been years that have started out one way, then ended with a few twists and turns that I never saw coming. In either case, trying to predict what will happen, or anticipate the unexpected, is tricky business.

So here's to trying to embrace life one day at a time, scheming less, and not missing out on what God might have in store for me, no matter how "out of the box" it might seem. I mean I live in Africa, that's already putting me outside of a lot of boxes! I want to be gracious and mature enough to accept the challenges life can bring, and I want the eyes to see the blessings and gifts God has given me in living this 'outside-the-box' kind of life.

Here's a few things that 2011 brought my way that shaped the year for me:

This tiny, little thing happened in January where I live (ok, I guess a "revolution" isn't so tiny). While I wasn't here when it happened, I returned about 3 weeks afterwards and the rest of the year has been filled with protests, strikes, campaigns, political parties out the wazoo, elections, speculations, and a country who is speaking their mind more than they ever have in the past 20ish years.
Babies everywhere! My job security continues to increase with each new birth. This year saw the arrival of twins in Feb. Helping out a family with 3 kids in diapers (their oldest was under 2 when the twins arrived) is...well, a lot of diapers:) Another family had their first little guy in September. All the kids continue to grow, and this year I transitioned from teaching Kindergarten to one boy to teaching preschool to two girls....all I have to say is, BIG difference!! I love both and it's been so fun teaching all these kids!
Roommates - I have had 4 roommates this year! I started out the year with my roommate for the past 2 years, Gabriela, but then moved in April to live with my friend Cerena. This was the first time in my life that I bought appliances, furniture,etc for a home. I NEVER knew that I would be doing it all in broken Arabic! So I officially have a house with adult furniture (as opposed to my thriftier, junkier college furniture days)! Anyway, I lived with Cerena for about 4 months before she moved back to the States. Enter roommate #3, Lauren. Lauren was an intern who was spending a semester abroad for college and she was around til the beginning of Dec. About 3 weeks after Lauren arrived, roommate #4, Val, came into the picture. Now most of you know Val and I are pretty great friends and have lived together in the past, so I was pretty excited to have her move to Africa!
Visa trips - I was lucky enough to go to Rome, London, and Goochland (what, that's not exotic sounding to you??) for my visa trips this year. My friends in Rome have always been gracious to let me stay with them, and this time I was able to travel with Cerena, so it was GREAT to not do a trip alone! London was a new place for me (if only I had lots of money and a great accent, I'd fit right in). My friend Anna opened her home up to me and I loved going from 100+ temps in Africa in August to a cool 65 degrees in London. But my favorite trip was of course going home to see my family! I got 2 weeks of quality fam time in over Thanksgiving. Seeing my nieces grow (2 were baptized this year) and getting a chance to spend time together is always a blessing.
The weight loss journey continues (although it's needing a little kick start with all these holidays and yummy treats around). I can't entirely remember where I was this time last year, but I think it's safe to say I've lost about 35lbs this year, with my overall (almost 3 yrs) loss being close to 90lbs. I was technically at 90, but the aforementioned treats have done their damage....so "close" will suffice for now:) I write this not to brag, but to hold myself accountable to the fact that I just told the world how much I've lost, so I better keep it up!!

There are so many other things I could write about (turning 30, hitting new levels of growth and frustration with language, holiday parties galore, celebrating miracles and grieving losses with friends, etc), but I will end with some random pictures from the year. I am thankful for this year and the growth it brought me, and I pray 2012 will be rich with the Lord's presence!

Trevi Fountain, Rome (my favorite place in Rome)

The power of Photo Booth to entertain while babysitting

Teaching little ones to blow bubbles:)

Westminster Abbey, London

Christmas ornaments from my preschoolers:)

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T07:02:00.004-05:00

Christmas tree...check.

Presents from loved ones...check.

Cookies filling the kitchen....check.

It looks like Christmas in our apartment. We have decorations all around, Christmas songs playing throughout the day, and sweets overflowing!

This year I spent Christmas here in Africa. I am thankful that I had the chance to go home and do some early Christmas celebrating with my family. I am also thankful for Skype that helps me stay connected to them when the miles are between us. This Christmas I was able to spend it with my "African" family, which was filled with meals, gifts, songs, and fellowship. It was great to feel like everyone was celebrating this special day, even if its just a few households within the millions of people living in our city.

Remembering Jesus, the gift of His love, and the story of His birth is enough to fill my cup to overflowing. Knowing that angels proclaimed "peace on earth" at His arrival...it gives me a thankful heart that I have that peace, and that it is there for the taking.

So, in the midst of presents, phone calls, movies, and baking, I am ever-mindful of the best gift ever given. In Psalm 145 it tells us that God has compassion on all He has made. How compassionate of Him to send a Savior for us. How compassionate to see our biggest need and meet it.

Thank you Lord for your indescribable gift! And thank you for people to share this Joy with each year....whether near or far, our hearts are held together intimately in His hands. Merry Christmas to the world!

Here we have a few pics and a video: The kids were learning about Jesus being born, Val and I hanging out on Christmas, and Kyler and Gabby dancing to Christmas carols.

sick day

2011-12-12T02:54:00.002-05:00

Today I am curled up on my couch, drinking tea, looking at our Christmas tree....and coughing up a lung, sniffling, and feeling lethargic. Oh sick days...I don't have them too often, but today is one of those days. While I try to keep my germs to myself by staying home, I figured I would try to catch up on some stuff, including blogging.

I went home for thanksgiving and it was great! I loved seeing my family and even a few friends. I ate way too much yummy American food, watched some Christmas movies with the fam, celebrated Thanksgiving and early Christmas with them, and just enjoyed being home for a while. Here are the 3 younger nieces helping get some early Christmas baking in. Time with my nieces is always a highlight of going home.

After 2 weeks in the States, I came back to Africa and jumped back into the routine. The kids keep getting bigger, and its fun to see them develop their own personalities and quirks. One of the families I help has twins, they are about 10 months old, and they are CUTE. Here I tried to catch them doing this "scrunch your nose and breathe heavy" thing that they were both doing to each other...but of course, when the camera is on, the performance ceases. Vera did a little though:)

Moving on to the older crowd, Gabby and I are good buddies these days. Between preschool twice a week and getting some one-on-one time once a week with babysitting (big bro is in school, little bro naps), we get some good time in together. Since December is in full swing, the prep for Christmas baking has begun. This week she and I made sugar cookies. She wanted to taste test each batch, and kept informing me that she'd have to eat the broken cookies. So helpful:) Please note the tiara and apron are essential to looking good while baking.

Well, that's about it for now. Time to take some cold meds and veg out for a while!

the big 3-0!

2011-10-29T10:34:00.004-04:00

Well....whether I like it or not, I'm done with my 20's.

This week I turned 30. It's weird to not be in my 20's, and to be in my 30's living in Africa, single, living a life I never knew I'd live when I was in college and 30 felt so far away.

While life is different, it isn't bad. I have some amazing people in my life who spoil me rotten and treat me like a million dollars, and this week has been basically full of celebrations, gifts, cake, more sugar, shopping, etc etc etc. I am incredibly blessed and I know it:)

Here's a few pictures of the past couple of days. I had my language teacher treat me to lunch and getting my nails done, then my wonderful "family" here took me to a hotel on the beach for the evening where we played games, ate cake (made from ingredients sent by my mom!), and just enjoyed being out together. I love these ladies a ton and am thankful for friends like them.

Surfacing

2011-10-23T03:10:00.002-04:00

It has been a good long while since I've written anything.

There's a few factors involved in the lack of writing. A major one was taken care of this week when I finally got internet at my house (six months after moving). Thanks to friends who help me get it done...community is a wonderful thing! Along those lines, just getting things around the house, having new roommates move in, settling into a new schedule for the fall....it's been busy, to say the least.

Another factor - what to say. Sometimes I have several ideas of what to share about, and other times I'm like "well....what do I say?". This is one of those times. So I will share a hodgepodge of things as I make my way back into this blogging thing.

What's new since July (last time I had anything on here):

I have two new roommates, Lauren and Val. Lauren is an intern who is here a total of 4 months (we're about halfway through at this point). She arrived the same day that my old roommate, Cerena, left to return to the US. Val is here to teach and while I say she's a "new" roommate, in reality she's practically a sister. I've lived with her before in the US and I feel pretty spoiled to have her on this side of the ocean to do life with again.
I am back in the world of teaching preschool. My kindergarten student from last year is now in 1st grade with teacher Val, so I am teaching his sister and another little girl in the world of preschool. So, 2x a week, these excited little girls show up at my apartment and ask me "what are we going to learn today?". Right now, we're working our way through the colors, the numbers 0,1, and 2, and the letters A and B. They have also been working on writing their name.

What's been on my mind these days:

Today is a big day where I live, elections are being held and there's a bit of "unknown" that lies ahead. While it's not a presidential election, it's still the first step towards a new government here and I just don't know how it will go, who will win, what it will mean for day to day life here.
I have been finding myself needing the word of the Lord to penetrate my mind these days. Whether it's needing wisdom or encouragement or whether it's needing to share wisdom and encouragement with my community around me, I just find that His word meets needs that nothing else can. So I am trying to be better about really getting it into my brain and my heart!
In 24 days, I am going home to visit my family for a couple of weeks. It's been since the beginning of February since I've seen them, and I know with the life I choose to live, 10 months isn't too shabby - so many people don't get to travel overseas to see family as often as I do. But still, 10 months is a good long while and I am ready to have some hugs from my nieces and meals with my parents and enjoy the company of my family and enjoying some favorite things about fall in the states.

What I've been enjoying these days (on the completely shallow end of the spectrum):

I am enjoying the weather cooling down and getting to bust out some long sleeves now and again. It's just so nice to not sweat all day every day. Thanks Jesus for seasons!
Fall brings new TV seasons, and I love watching TV and feeling "American" - even if it's off the computer. Hanging out with Jim and Pam (the Office) & Leslie and Ron (Parks and Rec) brings some laughter and fun into my week.
Making chai lattes at home is basically heaven. Thanks to Val bringing in a little frother, and thanks to people mailing me chai, I can have "fall in a cup" whenever I like:)

summer

2011-07-21T10:21:00.004-04:00

Top 5 associations I have with summer in North Africa:

1. HEAT - it's hot, like 100+ degree hot. I sweat when I walk to class at 7:30 in the morning. Not like a little drop of sweat on the forhead....no, this is "get out a tissue and wipe the sweat pouring off your head/hair/neck" kind of sweat. And of course the locals aren't really sweating...just white foreigner me.

2. SMELLY - Hot trash stinks. Burning trash stinks. Hot sewer grossness stinks. People who fail to bathe and use appropriate hygiene products stink. Summer is just a smelly season here.

3. NAP TIME - People here shut everything down during the afternoons. Taxis are scarce, lots of businesses are closed, and aside from a couple of bigger stores, nothing is open. So, if you are looking to get things done, errands run, etc you better do it before 12:3o or 1. Otherwise you have to wait til 4, and some businesses don't even re-open after closing for the afternoon.

4. RAMADAN - Now ramadan isn't always in summer, but it has been these last few years, so it's what I think of. People are fasting, not drinking water, and thus they are hot, cranky, uncomfortable people for an entire month. At sundown, they eat, watch TV and stay up til 2 or 3 a.m. It's even harder to find taxis, stores are closed, restaurants are closed, and there's nothing to do.

5. WEDDINGS - People go crazy for weddings here. They have multiple evenings of meals, parties, etc and it's an expensive thing for sure. Sometimes the bride changes dresses 3 or 4 times. Weddings don't start until after 9pm usually, and can go until 1 or 2 a.m. They involve lots of LOUD music. I wish I could really communicate just how loud it is. Not like "oh I couldn't quite hear you, speak up" but more "you are yelling at me and I still have a hard time understanding you". You see a few foreigners bring their earplugs to help, but even with those, your ears are ringing after you get home. Here's a picture and a video of a wedding I went to recently:

say what?

2011-06-30T17:12:00.003-04:00

"I don't understand French. I speak English and a little Arabic."

I can't even count how many times I have said this (in Arabic) this week. Setting up house is a long process for me apparently, and I'm still working on getting things taken care of. Some of it is just lacking the nerve to call a stranger and speak in Arabic about things I don't even know the words for (like "delivery" and "outlets" and "installation"). So I work myself up to be brave and tackle the monster that is a language barrier, and...well....my track record is maybe 50/50 success/fail. That might even be more generous than it should be.

With each victory I feel a little more confident, like "hey, it IS doable". Then come days like today, where I did eventually get a few things fixed by the electrician, but there's more to be done and he's tried explaining it to me, but it's over my head (not to mention he speaks so fast and is missing some teeth, which always add to the difficulty). I thought he was here at 10am, and after waiting for him for 20 minutes outside my apartment complex, I went back inside where he called me 30 minutes later to tell me he was indeed actually here. I thought he said that there would be guys coming this afternoon/evening to install AC units, when in fact it was just him and his son who returned to change some outlets, saving the AC's for tomorrow's to-do list. I thought he said one price, but apparently he said another.

I thought it was going to be easier than this. I thought I would understand more Arabic at this stage of living here. I thought I could do this by myself. But I can't.

I am being humbled like nobody's business these days. I crave my independence I had in America where I knew how to call repairmen and it was no big deal to go buy/order something and give directions to my house. I could understand phone conversations and didn't feel like a 3 year old trying to talk to people. It was easy.

I like easy.

But Jesus said in this world "you will have trouble". There's no "maybe" or "potentially". You WILL have trouble. Granted, there are many troubles in the world that merit more attention that my language woes, but nevertheless, they are troubles. But right after that sentence, He goes on to tell us to take heart! He has overcome the world.

Like I said, I know there are people facing much harder situations because of their faith. But it's comforting to know that Jesus has conquered this place I'm both physically and mentally living in these days. I might be worn out by constantly struggling to really catch what people are saying, but there's one thing that I KNOW is true, no matter what language you hear it in: Jesus is the victor. He has conquered the world, and I think it's safe to say no task is too big or too small for Him.

So, I may not understand everything that will go on tomorrow when the electrician returns, or in coming weeks as I get furniture delivered or whatever else is left on the 'to-do' list for me, but I do understand, without a doubt, that Jesus can handle this, and can help me walk through each challenge. I can turn to Him and He will be there, ready to help.

And thankfully Jesus understands my English, little Arabic, and no French just fine.

I am Yours

2011-05-30T11:45:00.002-04:00

Belonging. It's something that can bring a feeling of security in life (at least for me).

I love "belonging" to my family, my group of friends here and in America, my church. I also love that I "belong" to Jesus. He is all that I can possibly need. He's given me more than I deserve, and He's given it in such a generous way. I have recently been enjoying the song "Rooftops" by Jesus Culture on their album "Come Away". Maybe it's the girl in me, but the emotional tug in this song is just huge. To want to stand on rooftops and proclaim that I am HIS - there has to be a deep, passionate, undying love and devotion involved. I just imagine a scene in a movie of some lovestruck couple declaring their love for one another from the rooftops. I have several friends who are happily married (or dating) and would gladly shout out their love for their significant other. That person has been a source of comfort, has shown devotion, and has made their lives richer by being a part of it.

And that's how I want to feel about my Jesus. I want to be so moved by His devotion to me and care for me (through financial provision, health, spiritual growth, friendships, family, salvation, the list could go on and on....) that I literally can't keep it in. I HAVE to get it out. I have to tell people how crazy I am about Him.

There are days where I take this love relationship with Him for granted. I know He's there, and I get used to it and forget how meaningful His presence in my life is. But then I sit and wonder about my friends who don't know Him, and I wonder what they think about all day long. I wonder what gives them comfort and peace. I wonder how they handle life's challenges. I try to imagine my life without Jesus, and the result is quite bleak and frightening.

Being single, I don't have a human "love" for a man that I want to declare from the rooftops, but let's be honest, I don't think it would even be able to stand in the shadow of my love for Jesus. And I truly hope that never ever changes. I want to belong to Him first. He's more faithful, dependable, and true than any person ever could be, and sometimes I am just in awe that HE loves ME. The creator of the universe came to Earth and died on a cross and rose from the grave for ME, for Angie from small town Virginia who has a million flaws and constantly needs her faith to be built up. I get to revel in that kind of love? He's who I belong to? Sometimes there just aren't words to describe how it makes me feel, but "I am Yours" will suffice.

Moved!

2011-04-30T15:29:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I've written anything. Why?

MOVING.

I am NOT a fan of moving (the act itself) but it is nice to finally have found a place, to have my stuff moved, furniture ordered (though not exactly here yet), and to be tackling this big step in life.

Why is it big?

Well, I've never moved into my "own" place and had to furnish it before. Sure I've lived in apts with people in the past, but this is the first time that my name is the only one on the contract. Feels like a big deal. I never knew that the first time I would be doing this would be halfway around the world in Africa. I never knew I'd be doing it single. I never knew that I'd have to do it in Arabic, be dependent on some really generous friends to give of their time and language skills to help me get this process finished, and would be figuring out just how frustrating it can be to set up house in a culture that isn't yours. Expectations for stores to have things I like, and to have things that work...well, I should know better after 2 years to get my hopes too high (thats what visa renewal trips to IKEA in Rome are for!!).

Yet, here I am, waiting at 8:30pm for the delivery guys who are delivering my dining table "if God wills"...which can mean anything in this culture. I am sitting in an apartment with white walls, figuring out how to mix my own colors since the machine at the store that was meant to be fixed in "2 days" is still broken 2 weeks later. I have containers yet to be unpacked, I have a light bulb that burned out after being in for a whopping 3 days, and my shopping list never seems to end.

But in the midst of all this, I am thankful my best friend is with me. I am thankful that He knows what I need to hear at the end of a long day. He knows how to walk me through moving and setting up house and spending more money in 3 weeks than I ever have before. He knows how to calm my heart when I wonder how I'll get it done.

I am thankful for this place. I am thankful that He has walked me through the uncertainties and fears and worries and has brought me to a place of contentment and has given me great friends who help me each week make this place a little more "mine" and "home".

And now it's time to finish this post, because at 9pm my dining table is finally here:)

confessions

2011-03-27T15:09:00.004-04:00

I feel like I just got schooled.

I just spent the last week with good friends, my 'family' away from home. We left our city, headed to a hotel for a few days of time off from the day to day routine. We were spoiled by visitors who brought us things we Americans crave when overseas (peanut butter cups, trail mix, various types of m&ms, craisins, salsa, and a plethora of babysitters on hand for the families). We got a chance to dig into the word for a few days, specifically Nehemiah.

Thus begins the schooling.

So one of the discussion topics we had was about the prayer life of Nehemiah. He prayed constantly, in every situation, good or bad. He prayed with faith, believing the Lord to show up and protect him and his people as they rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem. He prayed practical things. He asked for God's help and wisdom.

As I thought (and continue to think) about my prayer life....well, I wish I could say Nehemiah and I have much in common. But, the truth is, my prayer life is in need of some attention. Things that come to mind are:

I have somehow gotten complaining and praying confused...apparently, they aren't intended to be the same thing! Now, don't get me wrong, I fully believe the Lord wants to know my heart, my feelings, frustrations, worries...He wants me to come to Him with the things that are hard and weigh on my heart. However...there's a difference between laying open my heart so that He can speak into those situations, and griping about things as if I were the only person in the world that matters (or as if His grace actually wasn't sufficient enough for me).
There is an unfortunate increase of selfishness in the prayers I give. I want God to change the things around me...and I shy away from asking Him to change ME. I think others should change, or my circumstances should change, or I ask for things without being willing to offer up things, too. I tend to want everything to be my way - my ideas, my preferences, my comforts come first when I pray.
I am horrible at letting this be my routine: praying, laying out all the things that I struggle with and need help with, then walking away carrying those burdens, refusing to leave them in His hands! What's that about? Do I really believe that I can figure it out on my own better than the Lord? Ugh. It just isn't true.
Have you noticed the lack of thanksgiving and praise in these bullet points? I have been falling short in this area too. I take so much for granted.

Looking at this list is anything but encouraging. I could be quick to come down on myself, feel inadequate, and become discouraged at just how much my flesh can seem to win in struggles against my spirit.

But, because the Lord is SO incredibly gracious, I can sit here, write these things, and not feel any shame. Sure, these are things that need to change, and they aren't the kind of things you want to let take root in your heart. But, God is so gracious to be gently reminding me of a few things:

Daughter, I've got this all under control. Whatever you think you need to figure out...you don't. Whatever you think you have to take care of on your own...its just not true. I AM has this covered.
My way really is the best way. Choose it. In every situation, choose ME. With every person, choose MY LOVE for them first. In every doubt, believe that I AM is here, is aware of you and your needs, and deeply loves you.
Don't grow comfortable. Keep me at the forefront of your mind. Let I AM be enough to satisfy, bring contentment, and add meaning and purpose to your life. Don't you dare look to another person, another job, another place, another social/economic status to define who you are and what you're worth. I AM takes care of those things. REMEMBER ME.

So yeah, I was schooled this week.

And I loved it.

And what I love about it is not only was it something I needed to think about and grow in, but I find it fascinating/praiseworthy that (in my experience) only the Lord can convict and yet encourage at the same time. I walked away from the week knowing I need to refocus my time with Him, yet feeling so blessed that He loves me so deeply and truly wants what is best for me. I am blessed beyond measure by His teaching and the manner in which He speaks it into my life!

clips

2011-03-14T15:02:00.002-04:00

here's a few random videos of some of the kiddos in my life. This first video is Ellie "reading" her book "puff the magic dragon" So you'll catch some "land called hanalee" over and over and over:)

And another one, this time featuring Julia, who wanted to play with play-doh and eventually ends up throwing it at the wall....woops!

baby steps

2011-03-04T10:54:00.002-05:00

So I work with kids, and I see them learning how to walk all the time. They stumble, fall, and wobble their way around, figuring out how to use those legs to move from room to room. Just today one of our little guys crashed somewhere in the house, and tears flowed, and I thought about how walking is so "normal" to me now...but I know I went through that same stage when I was little.

As an adult, I realize that, well, I just DON'T think about walking....it happens so naturally. I don't find myself saying, "ok, left leg, it's your turn to go...ok right leg, now it's you...ok keep it up". I do it without ever paying attention to it. It's kind of amazing, really. And, eventually, I get from point A to point B. Being a pedestrian here in Africa, I walk a lot. I walk to people's houses. I walk to the store. I walk to catch a taxi. I'm always walking somewhere. And sometimes, I don't even realize I've made it to my destination because I get so lost in my thoughts as I'm walking. I arrive thinking, "wow, did I really just walk that far without realizing it?"

So all that to say, there's a parallel in my life with this....dieting. It's all about baby steps. I'm not one to typically write about my dieting. But, as friends and I (both here in Africa as well as in the States) seem to all be on this journey at the same time, I thought I'd share some hope I've found.

IT CAN BE DONE.

So simple, but so very, very true.

It is easy to get discouraged by weeks where you lose .2 lbs, or gain 2 lbs. It's easy to get disappointed with yourself for choosing cookies over carrots. I have made my fair share of bad choices during the past 2 years. But, I am proud to say I've made more good choices than bad, and it shows....literally, you can see the difference. Starting this journey, I had to learn just how bad my eating habits were before I could really understand the changes that needed to happen.

But, I managed to start "toddling" around on my own, figuring the right steps to take. Sure, I'd fall, trip, slip, and even crash at times. Learning how to view food, how to keep a balanced diet, how to add exercise into my daily life....well, I'm still figuring those things out. But I think I can say that I am past the toddler phase. Now I'm into the "hey I'm a kid who doesn't always watch where I'm going so I run into things and fall" phase. So, still accident prone, but much more stable on these legs of mine. I don't have to think as much about what to snack on...because I know what to buy at the store and keep in the house...and more importantly, what NOT to buy. I don't even venture down the cookie/chip aisle. There's nothing there I need.

It's a worthwhile process, but it takes time, and progress can seem slow. I wonder sometimes if the end is ever in sight. But, it's there. I know it is. And my hope is that I will meet my goal and look up and realize "hey, did I really just get here? I didn't even see it happen!" because it will become such a "normal" part of my life. It won't be a conscious, diet-minded process, but rather a sub-conscious, healthy living process.

I'd be remiss to not include my "key" to success...Jesus. Seriously. I have been so encouraged by His word as I do this. Knowing that God has given us a spirit of SELF-DISCIPLINE (2 Timothy 1:7)....that's not just limited to the spiritual realm! He really can help me to be self-disciplined and make the right choices when it comes to food. Psalm 63:3 tells me that His love is better than life...I think it's safe to say that includes chocolate, sugar, ice cream, chips, etc etc etc. Whenever I'm needing a 'pep talk' or just some hope that this isn't a lost cause, He's faithful to bring a passage to my attention that speaks just what I need to hear.

So when I feel discouraged thinking about my measly average of .67 lbs lost per week, and wonder what difference half a pound makes in my life...I remind myself that .67 lbs a week over the course of 2 years....well that's 70 lbs I'm glad to be living without today:)

changes

2011-02-27T05:29:00.001-05:00

I have had some good time to myself (a little introvert happiness!) and this is what I've been chewing on with the Lord:

Transitions and change. They always seem to happen, no matter how one may try to resist. I tend to crave a routine...whether in what I do or in my surroundings. Yet things never really stay the same. Well...some things.

Examples:

- Our little community is losing 2 families this month. We have been so blessed by their presence here and their friendships, it is sad to see them go. It's sad to know that we will be oceans apart, living in different 'worlds', and not sharing our lives together here. Sure, staying in touch will continue, and their friendships aren't lost by any means, but these moments make you long for heaven when everyone you love can actually be in the same place!

- I need a house. I am on the hunt and while it's exciting to think of finally having a place with heat, it's also crazy to think about changing neighborhoods, houses, landlords, neighbors, markets, etc. It'll be like starting over again. Except my language is a little better than 2 years ago:)

- Kids tend to grow (weird, huh?). So, in a few months, we'll have some new things to think about with schooling and who will be doing what for school. We need some backup, too...so we're on the hunt for a teacher to help me out with the kids.

These are all things that are just a part of life....change happens. People move, grow, change. Situations change, governments change, and seemingly the only thing that doesn't change is...well, the fact that there's change!

Yet there are things I would LOVE to change, but somehow I get stuck in the routine, and, well, I don't really get around to making those changes. Like being more loving to people who don't know Jesus and really showing compassion to the needy, hurting people I see every single day living here. Or thinking of others before I think of myself and what I "want" or "need". I'd love to be more disciplined in exercising and eating habits. I'd love to spend more time studying God's Word and really owning it in my heart...believing it and trusting it and living it out the way I know I could be doing.

I tend to find myself adjusting and figuring out how to embrace circumstantial changes, while not even giving more than a fleeting thought to the personal changes that could happen in my life to make it richer, more glorifying, more meaningful....why do I settle for mediocrity when so much more is waiting (i.e. Jesus and the 'abundant life' he offers when I live by the Spirit)??

So, I find myself praying for grace to embrace changes....both changes that are out of my control and those that I can choose to make myself. I can't help but think of the children's song, "He's still working on me"....its so true. I pray I can get out of the way and let Him do what He does best: redeem, renew, and restore.

one busy week

2011-02-12T08:08:00.004-05:00

Well I have been here a week, and it's been one busy week! I think I'm over the jet lag, so that's nice. I started teaching again and have returned to language learning. Man, I have GOT to work on my language. Next week marks 2 years of living here, and Arabic is still kicking my butt! I just spent 3.5 hrs with my downstairs neighbor (who doesn't know English) and it was quite a workout for my brain. We talked about my time at home, things happening here, what's been happening in Egypt, food, weather, etc etc etc. The first thing they said when they saw me was "you are WHITE!"....guess I need some more sun in my life! I haven't seen much sunshine these days (although today is nice and bright out!). I have to say, though, for not knowing as much as I should after 2 years, I was thankful I could make it through our time together without getting too lost.

We also had the chance to celebrate Alex's birthday! A year ago that little guy came into our world, and it's been so fun to have him around. I love all the extra nieces and nephews I have with this work...they bless me so much! Here's a video of the birthday celebration:

My friend Cerena has moved here now and we are on the hunt for a house! We are hoping to find something close to the neighborhood where a lot of the kids I work with live. It would be great to be close to them and I am definitely looking forward to finding a house with HEAT! It's amazing what a difference it makes in my mood and productivity at home! So here's praying the right house is put in our path!

To end this one, here's a picture of our latest discovery here...natural peanut butter! There's a random small corner store that sells it here, and we are so excited to find it and for it to actually not cost $10 a jar! wahoo! So, peanut butter lovers, know that there's hope overseas for finding this treasure!

it's been a while

2011-02-05T00:42:00.002-05:00

So apparently I am no good at writing blogs while home. Here's a brief summary of the last two months in the States:

- I was able to travel a ton and visit people who love me and care about what I do! It was tiring, but good, and I was so thankful to reconnect with people that I haven't seen in years.

- I spent time with my family and got to hang out with my nieces during their school breaks and they even played hookie once or twice to hang out with me. It was great and so cool to see how they are growing up.

- I ate a LOT of food that I have missed...not so great for the ole' diet, but it was yummy:)

Over in Africa, life changed big time. So long, President....who knows who will be next. January was a crazy month and quite stressful for everyone here, but things are much calmer these days. I got back into town yesterday with no problems at all (thank you JESUS!). I even got my bags for free when I should have had to pay for the extra baggage fee. I just felt so favored by the Lord the whole trip...making all my connections, not having to wait in crazy lines anywhere...it was nice.

The not so nice part...arriving at 10am after not sleeping but maybe 2 hours in the past 20ish. That meant staying up all day long....thankfully I have some good friends who kept me busy and some little people who were excited to see me (and I was excited to see them). So a trip to the chawarma place for lunch, some play time at a couple different houses, and a trip to the grocery store kept me up! I made it to 7:50 before I crashed and burned for the night (minus accidentally locking my roommate out and having to get up to let her in at 9:30...woops). I slept til 6am, which I am thankful for....and who knows, I might even try to get a nap in before starting on today's agenda. So hopefully I'll get back to updating this thing more consistently!

First Day Back

2010-12-01T14:09:00.003-05:00

Well....I'm home! I am tired and would like to go to bed, but it's only 2pm...so I am finding things to keep me up and busy until I get a second wind. I slept about 6 hours straight when I got home, then woke up (4:30am), used the bathroom, read a bit, and fell back asleep until 6 or 6:30. Not too bad for the first day back. I am looking forward to getting adjusted to normal sleep times though!

So here's a few things I have noticed since being home:

The airports were playing Christmas music! How wonderful it is to be in a place where Christmas is known and celebrated!
I got ice in my drink on my last flight to Richmond...yay for being in the land of ice!
The sinks are higher, which make washing dishes SO much nicer on my back.
I literally was so surprised that my laundry was done washing in about 30 minutes...it's an hour and 20 minutes in Africa. Then, I got to put it in the dryer! Ahh, I think I may have to invest in a dryer when I get back to Africa (they are there, just not real common).
I made a cake this morning for my mom's birthday, and I didn't have to do any sort of guessing or substituting because I didn't have the right ingredients or quantities...it's nice to make an American recipe in America!

So there you have it, first day observations of being back. I haven't hit any stores yet...tomorrow mom and I will go shopping. I cannot wait for some new threads (that fit!). I will have to practice some serious self control....well....maybe:)

single digits!

2010-11-21T09:45:00.003-05:00

That's right, the countdown to going home has hit single digits...9 days to go! A few things to do between now and then:

attend Ellie's 3rd birthday party
two more days of home school for Kolby
one more reading time with the K boys
one more night of babysitting
one more language class
cooking green bean casserole and baking rolls for Thanksgiving
go to a wedding in Rome

It's been busy around here. I'm trying to finish packing for America this weekend (all the gifts/stuff/etc I'm taking home is done, now just finishing up laundry so i can pack some clothes). Thursday is Thanksgiving, then Friday I leave for Rome with the G's to head to our friend Jen's wedding! I will come back to Africa Monday around noon, less than 24 hrs before I leave for two months! So, needless to say it's going to be busy (and just get busier) until I am on the plane Tuesday morning for the first of 3 flights to get to Virginia.

I have had computer problems the past week, so my prep for going home and meeting with people has been slowed, but Jesus was gracious to me today and let my computer boot up so I could at least make a little more progress towards being ready for a busy schedule at home. More airfare purchased, more details finalized, more people I'll get to see!

It still seems crazy that in about a week I'll be at my parents house, celebrating Mom's birthday, decorating for Christmas, and hanging out with my family. I just gotta make it through these next 9 days!!!!

homes and families

2010-11-10T09:07:00.003-05:00

I have some free time that I should probably be using in other ways, but I thought I'd write here instead (yes, I'm a chronic procrastinator).

I have 20 days til I head home to America for the holidays and to visit lots and lots of people. I'm excited, trying not to get too behind on my 'to-do' list (umm, don't mind the fact that I'm writing this instead haha), and just really ready for some holiday fun with my family. I have already (and unashamedly) begun listening to Christmas music. I haven't gone full force....just a couple of my favorite Christmas albums (Sarah McLaughlan's "Wintersong" and Sojourn's "Advent Songs"). But I can't wait for Christmas in AMERICA again!

At the same time, I'm kind of glad I get to do Thanksgiving here. I get to be with my other "family" on that day. While America is going to be fun and wonderful, I know I will miss my family here. I will want to know what funny things the kids said, what's going on in everyone's day to day, how Christmas was, etc etc. They are the people I spend my time with in language, or sharing meals, or worshipping with, or vegging with in front of the TV. I'm used to having them around.

These are the things that making living overseas, well, not "normal". I will be homesick for my African family, just as I am homesick for my family at home now. I will want to share all that's going on in my day in America with people living an ocean away. Yet that's how I feel right now, too. I would love to go to dinner with my family or watch movies with my nieces or play cards with my best friends, but there are thousands of miles that keep those things from happening. Home is always an ocean away, no matter where I tend to be.

Nevertheless, I am excited to be leaving soon. I have started the cleaning out of closets (to make room for new clothes) and list-making of things I need to get while I'm home (a list that will never end, EVER). I have tickets and gifts and plans for finishing up the shopping in the next few weeks. I will be finishing my last week here with good friends on Thanksgiving and a quick trip to Rome for a wedding!

Ok, enough procrastinating, time to get back to work!

Trick or Treat!

2010-11-01T10:39:00.004-04:00

Maybe it's because of my birthday. Maybe it's because of the cooler weather. Maybe it's the changing leaves. Or maybe it's the candy. But fall is my favorite season ever, and, be it ever so shallow and unspiritual, Halloween is a favorite holiday of mine....it's right up there with Christmas in my book.

I just love all the fun that surrounds Halloween, and in my life, birthday fun is a part of it (since they are only 4 days apart). I love the fact that you can dress up and eat candy and use your imagination all day long - creating costumes, carving pumpkins, etc. - and I love how much fun kids have with it!

So, I hosted a Halloween party, and we had plenty of kids, sugar, and fun...I love making it feel like a holiday when nothing around us here reflects it. My house was a little piece of America yesterday with jack o lanterns, decorations, candy, and costumes.

So here's a few pics of my birthday fun which led into Halloween fun this weekend!

Kolby and Gabby were excited for my birthday (because Halloween was that much closer!)

Reasa and Manel took me to get my nails done for my birthday!

It's Halloween!!! Let the cookie decorating begin!

Happy Halloween!

He Loves Me!

2010-10-17T13:10:00.004-04:00

Oh man, this week has been so good with the Lord! Whether it's been in quiet times, conversations with friends, or having 20 texts/calls/messages asking how I am doing (thank you, flu!), I have felt so loved and I know it comes down to God just outright lavishing some love on me this week!!

One of the highlights of my week...getting my halloween/birthday box from my parents! They really go all out trying to get things that I ask for. I wanted some stuff to use with the kids for a halloween party, and now we have some goodies to play with! I also got some candy corn, my favorite pumpkin starbucks mug I forgot to bring over, and dried blueberries:)

I have also been enjoying some music from the band Gungor (thanks to Cerena for introducing me to them). I love having something new to listen to! Their songs "Beautiful Things" and "You Have Me" are great and worth checking out in my opinion.

I was also reminded of how blessed I really am. On Saturday mornings I have started to help out at a local hospital. There are newborns who have been abandoned (the heartache of a broken world and culture where shame and abuse is common for unwed mothers). I go and help with the morning feedings/changings/bathings. It is devastating to think about how these babies, days and weeks old, are already experiencing abandonment and heartache. I think about how many friends I have right now who are having children and the love, joy, and celebration that goes on over those new lives...it's beautiful. To think that these babies aren't getting that same 'Welcome to the World' fanfare is saddening. In a few weeks, they will be moved to an orphanage where they will probably spend their childhood. I think of how blessed I am to have a family who loves me, who wants me, who cares for me...all I can say is "Thank you Jesus".

So yeah, He loves me....a lot:)

When nothing satisfies....

2010-10-05T16:21:00.003-04:00

I have the chorus of that old Jennifer Knapp song stuck in my head:

When nothing satisfies you, hold My hand.

I have been unsatisfied with things lately. Like the weather, for instance. It's hot. Ok, not "summer" hot, but mid to upper 80's this week. I am an avid fan of the fall season. I want cool weather, scarves, leaves falling (that doesn't happen too much around here, but still)...and yet I am sweating as I take a walk and still wearing t-shirts and sandals. I miss the "American" fall...pumpkin patches, apple cider, and everything covered in shades of yellow, orange, red, and brown.

Clothing is another thing that's leaving me 'unsatisfied'. I feel that most of my clothes either don't fit right, have holes/stains, or are pushing the 5+ yr old mark, and thus losing their appeal to me. I would love to be able to hop in my car, run to Target, and see what's on sale this week and freshen up my wardrobe. This counts for shoes too (though that's not as big a deal for me).

There are other things I could write about, but I don't want this to turn into a pity party that no one asked to be a part of anyway! The crux of the matter is this: Ultimately, nothing satisfies but the Lord. No 'thing' or 'person' or 'feeling' will satisfy fully and completely. It doesn't matter where I live, what I have (or don't have), who I am with, what I am doing...NONE of it will bring true satisfaction. There will come a time when something happens and that 'sure thing' you thought would bring happiness (i.e. cold weather and new clothes) will prove it's temporary state. I know 3 months from now I will probably catch myself complaining about how cold I am and my 'new' clothes will already seem 'old' again.

I can't bet my contentedness on how many things go the way I want them to go (after all, the world doesn't revolve around me and my needs/wants/desires...or so I've heard!). I have found that when I am looking for something to 'satisfy' me, all I'm really looking for is comfort. Whether it's physical comfort in the weather, or spiritual comfort in needing to feel known and cherished...comfort is what I'm seeking. Which then, in turn, leads me to the question: Why do I need comfort? I have no deep theological answers here. But I can say that most times, I just need to know that I'm cared about. I need to know that what I think and want matters to someone other than me.

Who else better to meet THOSE needs than my CREATOR? I just read the Max Lucado book "If Only I Had a Green Nose" to the kids on Sunday. Poor Punchinello gets caught up in the hype of having the latest trend - a green nose. But the color of choice changes quickly, and he has a hard time keeping up. In the end, the paint is painfully, but tenderly, sanded off by Eli, his Maker. Punchinello wanted to feel important, noticed, loved. All he had to do was go to his Maker, Eli, and he would find all of those things. I need that, too. I feel silly sometimes admitting that...but it's the truth. I need to know that I am important to God. That what I think matters to Him. That the things I like and enjoy aren't trivial to Him; He takes great interest in ME. His word tells me that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made", that I am to cast all my burdens on Him "for He cares for you", and that "God is love". All things I need to hear!

So when I look back at the beginning of this post, I think "Really? You're looking to the weather and clothes to satisfy your desire to be known and loved and cherished?"

Yeah, I think it's pretty silly, too.

taxis and groceries and geckos...oh my

2010-09-15T17:09:00.002-04:00

Two blogs in one week...I might be setting a record:)

Today was just one of those days that I had to write about. Everything about my day said "YOU LIVE IN AFRICA!".

I started my day by waiting for a taxi this morning for 45 minutes, without success. Yesterday I ended up being 30 minutes late because of the same problem, so today I decided to leave earlier with hopes of maybe snagging one. I was passed by 3, working, empty taxis who just looked at me waving them down and kept on going. Why? Beats me. I never understand those things. So, I was about 50 min. late and arrived with my exercise done for the day after walking to my destination. It's so weird, because I get taxis all the time, this is not a new thing for me. But I suppose this time of day, combined with the first week of work/school after Ramadan, has diminished my chances considerably.

After teaching, my next goal was groceries. For the past 4 days or so, there has been no meat at the grocery store. There has also been a lack of vegetables, and very little fruit. Again, Ramadan related issues here. Tonight I have guests staying in my house, and dinner was on the line...the store HAD to have something! I made it there to find success! FINALLY! Of course, the line at the produce area (they weigh them and price them before you check out) was long, but it was well worth it! We had baked chicken and pasta salad and green beans for dinner (in case you were wondering).

While cleaning up a bit around the house today, I discovered a dead gecko in my room. I am not a fan of creepy crawly things (and yes, 'cute' little geckos find their way into that category when they are unwanted invaders of my bedroom...the rest of the house is fine, just not where I sleep). So I didn't feel that bad for it. I think he got stuck somehow next to the anti-mosquito plug-in I use, and since my windows have stayed open for the past 3 days, the plug in has been on, and thus the death of the gecko.

Anyway, at the end of the day I was thinking, 'Man, these things would not happen in my American life'....so I decided to share a day in my life with you.

Fall Frenzy!

2010-09-13T14:05:00.003-04:00

The calm before the storm has passed.

It's fall. My favorite season, without a doubt (though it's not feeling very "fall" like in temperatures...well, according to an American "fall" anyway...but slowly its cooling down). However, my favorite season is also ushering in a busy season.

It has already started with birthdays like crazy! We've been averaging one birthday a week for the past 3 or 4 weeks. Our latest birthdays were Maisy (Aug 30) and Kyler (Sept 11). The picture is from Maisy's birthday party. Both kids turned 1 year old! My friend Corrie has a little boy, Drew, who also turned 1 on Sept 4th. I think I can safely say I have eaten birthday cake more in the past few weeks than I have all year.

This week is my first week playing 'teacher'. I'm helping 2 families home school their kids. I did preschool for Kolby last year, but this is KINDERGARTEN....'real school' in my mind. Feels like more responsibility this time. Kaedren is a recent addition to my teaching schedule...I suppose he's a first grader, but he probably varies widely with his placement, depending on the subject. I don't have quite as much time with him (both moms are teaching their kids too, I'm just helping out here and there). So I am branching out and trying something I've never done before, and hopefully the boys will be smarter at the end of it all!

I also start language classes again this week. I find myself at a point where I KNOW that I know the words, they just don't come to mind quickly enough! They are in that little brain of mine, just waiting for me to find them! Believe me, there are plenty of things left to learn...I by no means am even REMOTELY close to fluent....maybe 10 yrs down the road I could hit that...maybe. Regardless, I am looking forward to class. I love my teacher, I love having class with Reasa, and I know it's good for me. So long, summer break!

With these big changes, added in to the regular weekly stuff, my calendar looks full. Sometimes a full calendar is intimidating. Sure, it's great to know that I am busy for the Lord, but I hate being 'busy' to the point where I forget to include the Lord. Prior to the "Fall Frenzy" I have been enjoying some extra time with the Lord, and I'm kind of sad to see it go. I know there are seasons in life and sometimes you get those extra-nice moments of spending hours with the Lord at a leisurely pace. And then the pace picks up and (at least for me) it's back to fighting to find balance again.

But then again, I am the one making this schedule. So I CAN have those times with the Lord. Sure, it might not be all day, every day hangout times with Him, but I can make sure that I start and end my days with Him. I can say "no" to people/things when my spirit is feeling a need to replenish with time in His presence. I can make time with Him my priority, even when things get hectic and everything seems so 'important' that it's gotta be done yesterday.

So as I start out an already busy week, here's to choosing peace instead of chaos, rest instead of busy-ness, prayer instead of panic, and joy instead of stress. I will take it one day at a time, and eagerly await what the Lord will have for me each day. I know there will be days where I will fail to choose these things, but the beauty of it all is His grace being sufficient to cover me in those moments. I'm so thankful perfection from me is not a requirement in our relationship!

Isaiah 55

2010-09-06T13:19:00.002-04:00

Need to be reminded that God is compassionate?

Need to hear that God can change lives and bring peace and joy?

Need a reminder of the power of God and His word?

Me too.

Read and be encouraged....He's full of mercy, able to pardon sins, satisfies like nothing else, is beyond our understanding but deserving of our praise, and is able to take what was broken and heal, restore, and sanctify it. He offers yet another "second chance" to the Israelites in this passage...and to us, too.

Isaiah 55

¹ "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

² Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

³ Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.

⁴ See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.

⁵ Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."

⁶ Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

⁷ Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

⁸ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

Italy

2010-09-01T10:52:00.002-04:00

Gelato.

Granny Smith Apples.

IKEA.

All things pork.

These are the highlights of my trip to Italy last weekend. Living in Africa can wear me out sometimes, and I love the fact that I "have" to leave every few months to renew the ole visa. Sometimes when I leave, I find myself in sensory overload as I land in a country so different from mine. So many different sights and sounds and smells and tastes. This time around, it was all about food. Fresh fruits and vegetables. Generous portions of really amazing pasta. Pizzas with cheese that tasted like cheese and melted. I even got to indulge in caffeine-free coke (when will Africa get this?) and milk that tasted like actual milk. And of course, gelato...a must when you are in Italy!

So here's to 'coming up for air' and getting a break!

normal

2010-08-18T12:35:00.003-04:00

Here are things that are "normal" in my life these days. Who knew I would call these "normal"??

Carrying my groceries home - I live about 3 or 4 blocks from the local grocery store. Too close for a taxi to take me home. So, though I may have a lengthy list, I strive to get only what I can carry. Whatever fits in my little basket as I walk through the store...that's what I get. I can usually get one or two bags of stuff into my messenger bag, which helps with the carrying. The rest is left in my hands (and hopefully not too heavy so the plastic doesn't leave red marks on my hands). I try to save water and milk runs for hanuts ("ha-noots", which are little corner stores closer to my house) or friends who happen to have cars:)
Ants, ants, everywhere - I sit here in my room as I write this and can count 3 ants crawling around. The other day I made the mistake of leaving a box of goodies (from America) on my counter while I was away for a few days. I came back to find that these critters had eaten through the packaging to get into some of the food. I hate them, I wish they would all disappear forever, and yet....they're just part of life here. Sidewalks, houses, yards....they are everywhere. My house has too many little holes around where these guys can come from, so I have somewhat waved the white flag of surrender and just sweep them out whenever I find them.
Babies...lots of babies - While I am far from an expert, I dare say I know more about birth, diaper rashes, nursing, teething, terrible two's, potty training, and all other kid-related issues than most single people I know. It's the nature of the job, and what at first seemed so new and NOT on my docket of conversation pieces is now familiar and part of daily life. These parents and their kids have taught me a TON since moving here.
Looking down - I was just noticing this recently. As I walk, I keep my head down a lot. Some of it is culture, trying to avoid making eye contact with men. But mainly it's self-preservation against the "rugged terrain" of the streets and pot holes, broken sidewalks, trash, dead animals, broken glass, etc. More than once I have stubbed my toe on a random piece of pipe sticking out of the ground (or almost biffed it when suddenly the sidewalk goes up an inch out of nowhere, or nearly slipped into splits on slick sidewalks freshly rinsed off). Oh to be a spectator watching myself in those moments...I'm sure I've provided plenty of laughs for taxi drivers and pedestrians passing by at those EXACT moments.

So there you have it, a few things that make up my life here. I'm sure there are plenty of other things, but these are what stick out to me right now.

kids, kids, everywhere!

2010-08-14T05:13:00.004-04:00

Lots of kid time these days.....here's some photos from life recently. A few are from our VBS that we just finished up this week....nothing like doing VBS with ages of 1, 2 (two of those guys) , 3, 4, and 5 years old all together....makes it unique!

an assortment of thoughts

2010-07-25T13:50:00.002-04:00

I've had a few things I've thought about blogging about, but couldn't decide which one to do.....so here's a few thoughts (not necessarily related to one another) that have been floating around in my head:

I love music and listen to it all the time when I am at home. Recently I have been enjoying some older music from Rita Springer that just resonates with me right now. "Worth it All" is a great reminder that persevering through everything we experience in life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - will be worth it in the end when we get to be at home, in His presence; oh to be in fellowship and communion with Him in heaven! I lose sight of that more often than I'd like to admit. I get caught up in the stresses of my life - be they little things like ants living in my walls or big things like fears and wondering about the "who"s and "what"s of my life - and I lose perspective. What is my ultimate goal in life? To be some super hero of a woman that can handle life's challenges? To get married one day and have a family of my own? So often I have to remind myself that I want my life to be about living a life of worship to my Creator that speaks of my love, faith, and devotion to Him. I truly want to desire Him more than anything else in this world.

So, I've hit a milestone in my life this week: I have lost 50 lbs since living in Africa! WAHOO! I want to keep it going, and it has been so good to learn some good habits and to see the benefits of living a life of self-control. I want to be healthy, I want to have the energy I need to do what God's asked of me, and I want to avoid health problems that could come my way in the future because of being overweight. It's been a challenge to say "no" to favorite foods and drinks, but the benefits outweigh the cost any day!! It's been great to have friends here to do this with me; I don't think any of us would stay motivated if we didn't have the encouragement and accountability we offer one another. I have no desire to go back to that life, so here's to healthy choices, one day at a time, for the rest of my life!

I am reading the book "Green" by Ted Dekker and its the 4th book from the Circle series ("Black", "Red", and "White"). I love getting sucked into it, and have spent a large portion of my weekend reading! I love the imagery that he gives to man's relationship with God, God's love for man, and the tender yet powerful ways God speaks and acts. Things like this just stir my affections for the Lord even more. You should read them all if you haven't, they are excellent!

The past two days have been a welcome relief in the weather. While it's still summer and hot, there has been a strong breeze blowing and helping to cool down my house from the 110+ temperatures earlier this week. As I write this, my sheets are being wrapped around the clothesline and snapping in the wind, and I am so thankful for this unexpected blessing. These moments tend to remind me that He really does know what I can handle and what I need....even if it's just a little movement in the air!

Ok I think that's enough ramblings for one day:)

A little fun

2010-07-24T07:02:00.005-04:00

July's been busy with guests, summer fun, and of course, the kids around here. Here's a few pics and videos for everyone!

Sweet little Maisy is growing, growing, growing!

Here's Brittney with Reasa...Brittney came to help out with kiddos for a month!

Here's Cerena and I showing off the gigantic earrings we bought...I don't know when I'll wear them again, but hey, we all have them now. It's about memories right??

Here we have Gabby showing off some dance moves.

ladles of thankfulness

2010-07-05T16:41:00.004-04:00

Today, I went downtown with a girl who is spending a chunk of her summer here hanging out and helping out with the bajillion kids we have around here:) We went to the Medina where there are hundreds of merchants set up and they all are trying to sell you things from their shop. It's a workout for this little introvert, but it can be fun too. They all want to convince you that their shop is the best, has the best prices, has exactly what you want, etc etc.

Today I went into a shop and bought some simple things: a ladle and salad spoons. As I got home, I was thinking about how this simple purchase is such a snapshot of my life here. I've lived here long enough to be settled in, and yet I still find myself slowly accumulating the things that make a kitchen well-stocked, a bedroom feel like home, and a living room feel 'lived' in. It just takes time for me to settle in somewhere. I can do the initial push of getting moved, but I slowly add things to my life/house/belongings that really make it rich/full/satisfying.

One thing I have been adding to my spiritual life these days is increased thankfulness. Whenever I feel tempted to complain about something or when I feel overwhelmed by life here, I try (though not always successful) to take a 'time out' and just sit and thank the Lord for things He has blessed me with, truths He has taught me, and promises I trust He will keep. It's been wonderful to see what comes to mind as I think about what to thank Him for; He's truly blessed me more than I acknowledge. I can just see this image of Him "ladling" out blessings into my life. I never want to forget this, or grow accustomed to it, or even deny it's existence. God has blessed me and it's worth taking time to thank Him!

I hope to keep adding disciplines like this to my life to make it richer and fuller, one step at a time. While I have hopes of feeling completely settled and established in my physical life here, I pray that I never quite settle into my spiritual life; I want to keep those visits to the store for 'ladles and salad spoons' going and keep adding to the fullness of my relationship with Him (which thankfully can know no bounds).

cravings

2010-06-28T06:24:00.002-04:00

Why does it always seem that you crave things that aren't exactly good for you? For me, I crave sugar. I love it, especially in combination with chocolate, and I could eat it all day long. However, at the end of the day, I am usually regretting the massive amount of sugar I eat when those 'cravings' hit. I don't feel well, I cringe as I think of how that sugar will look on my body, and I have to work long and hard to work off what took 20 minutes to put on.

As I think about my cravings, I realize more and more that I really am craving something I need, but I'm looking to the wrong things to meet that need. I need energy, therefore I "need" caffeine. I need comfort after a long, hard day, therefore I "need" a cookie/ice cream/brownie. I need a stress reliever, therefore I "need" to spend hours watching movies or tv on the weekends.

Now those things in and of themselves aren't horrible. I'm a fan of all those things, and in moderation, they are fine. But when I get to the point where I "need" them, the little bells in my head should be going off: WARNING! You need something REAL, not just a "fix" to get you through to the next craving!!!

This morning I woke up, and after not sleeping great the night before, I felt tired, unable to focus, and I had plenty on my mind to distract me from what the "to-do" list had on it. So after 20 minutes of attempting to work, I just stopped, grabbed my journal and Bible, and just hung out with the Lord all morning, talking about the things on my mind, the people I know who are struggling, and just getting some good food for my soul.

It's my hope that I will crave those moments more and more. I can't function here without keeping myself grounded in the Lord. If I try to make my life work by myself, I end up tired, frustrated, and disheartened. But if I let Him do the orchestrating of events, people, time, etc....man, it's a whole new world for me! He will bring me comfort, He will fill me with energy to get through the day, and only He offers to carry my burdens for me!!

So here's to craving the good stuff in life....JESUS.

every now and then....

2010-06-13T16:40:00.003-04:00

I've lived here about a year and a half now. It's safe to say that things which used to strike me as odd or different now seem a bit more normal (or at least expected). For example:

My neighbors use anything to create a clothesline....anything. It might be extension cords, ropes, metal wires....whatever they can tie down, they'll use it.
Grocery stores are not at all consistent in everything that they carry - there may be a season where you can find a certain brand of cereal, chips, shampoo....and then it suddenly disappears off the shelf, sometimes never to be seen again; sometimes to return in 3 months.
I am totally used to buying milk in a box and keeping it on a shelf in the pantry until its opened. Still not as tasty as milk at home, but I'm used to it now.

But every once in a while, something will happen and I'll get that 'whoa' feeling...the 'that is not something you'd see in America' feeling. Like yesterday.

I am doing laundry, and without a dryer, the clothes must go up on the line outside. As I'm walking out on the balcony, I literally stop in my tracks and stare. Downstairs, my neighbors have hung out an ENORMOUS amount of wool on anything and everything that will hold it. I went back inside, grabbed my camera, and kind of chuckled at the thought of how there are still surprises to be experienced here (hopefully more of the humorous nature, as I prefer those to the "he did NOT just say that to me" surprises...but that's another story for another time).

Anyway, enjoy the photo!

snapshots

2010-06-08T08:22:00.003-04:00

It's been busy around here. Here's some random things from life these days:

We just finished watching LOST. I wasn't addicted to this show at all until I moved here last February and everyone was watching it. So, I watched all six seasons and we watched the last episode this past week....it wasn't an ending that answered tons of questions, and it was kind of different...and now its over. Weird! Now what will my Friday nights look like?
There have been parties and gatherings like crazy around here! We have 2 mom-to-be's in our bible study who are both leaving for the summer (one is moving so she won't be coming back) so we did a baby shower for them. We've also had 3 birthday parties around here the past 2 weeks, testing my knowledge of superheroes, princesses, and bob the builder.
The heat is beginning to show up. It still hasn't been too bad, a few days in the 90's. But it's been more humid than normal. I even had it sprinkle on me (in bright sun) as I walked home from the grocery store yesterday. The sweat glands are definitely back in business!
In language we translated a recipe for homework. It took me FOREVER to do it, but I didn't have a ton of mistakes, which felt so good....like maybe I am retaining something finally! Of course I'm still horrible at remembering simple words like "days" and I still make up words half the time, but hey, there's progress being made!

Here's a few pics to close out this one, we have birthday girl Gabby (turned 3) and Ellie showing her water balloon throwing skills at the Bob the Builder party.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2010-05-30T07:34:00.002-04:00

This week I packed a 68.5 lb suitcase, a computer bag that felt like it might as well weigh that much too, and hopped on yet another plane (3 actually) to head back to Africa. I spent 3 1/2 weeks with my family and friends in America, getting rest, catching up on family time, connecting with a few friends that I had time to see, and enjoying all things American. After being gone almost a year and a half, it was nice to feel "normal" again. I knew how to get places, what the rules of the culture were, I had a car and independence...it was glorious. I ate foods I had missed, drank fountain drinks as often as possible, went shopping where I knew they would have clothes I liked and that would fit me (as opposed to the short, stick-thin Arab culture around me in Africa). The list could go on and on.

I think my family was the best part of coming home; I got to reconnect with my nieces and see what their lives were like now (since moving to Africa they have moved to a new town and started new schools and new sports....lots of changes). I got to hang out with my parents who love me well and were quick to spoil me with whatever request I had - be it food, clothing, movies, etc. It was nice to have MY family around.

So yeah, it was kind of sad to leave (not too bad since I'll be back at Christmas). But I feel like a pretty blessed girl, though. I remember telling someone while I was sharing with them about life in Africa, "If I have to be away from my family, there's no other group of people I'd rather have to do it with than my 'family' in Africa". When I got to the airport, they were all there waiting, watching me look around for my roommate who I had asked to pick me up (and they were probably very entertained with my 'oh my gosh I'm so tired where is she' look), and they showered me with hugs and flowers (thanks guys!). It's nice to feel like either way across the Atlantic, I feel like I'm coming home...different homes, but 'home' nonetheless.

So, now I am back to life here. I went home tired, worn out, and needing a break. While I am still tired thanks to jet lag, I know in a day or two that will be done and I'll be back on schedule and I feel ready to tackle the next season of life here. There are still a million things I could be doing, there are still plenty of needs that I could try to meet, but I am learning that I don't stretch as thin as I think I can, so now its time to begin the work of prioritizing, boundary-setting, and taking things a day and a step at a time. It's good to know that I'm not doing this alone though. I have the Lord walking by me, and as I seek His guidance in all these things, He's fully aware of what I can do, what I shouldn't do, and how to be the best "Angie" to do the things He's set out for me. I am so thankful He is faithful to remind me that I haven't reached my potential; this isn't 'as good as it gets' for me and my life. He's got more in store, and if I let Him do the directing, He'll get me there. So here's to sitting in the back seat and letting Him do the navigating!

vacation

2010-05-13T12:33:00.003-04:00

I'm on vacation! The picture is of my niece Jenna and her artwork on the carport. I am known as "aunt egg" to my nieces....a strange nickname, but one I wouldn't trade! A few highlights:

I very much enjoy watching tv/movies in my PJ's as long as I like.
I have LOVED being with my family. It's so familiar...really is "home".
My mom has a snuggie....and I have used it! who knew....
Fountain drinks = glorious
I love Target. LOVE it.
I have had a sweet reunion with Bessie...my old car.
Laundry is SO fast....my clothes are washed AND dried faster than I can wash them in Africa!
Carpet is nice:)
I love not being around smoke and trash and stray, diseased cats and dogs.

Tomorrow is probably my last day to see my nieces til Christmas, so we are heading to a botanical garden (if weather permits) and hanging out. Then its off to see Grandma and then my last week will begin! I want to cram everything I can into this trip, but I know I can't, and it would defeat the purpose of going home to "rest" and "relax". So, some things will just have to wait til I come back in 6ish months.

Back to movie watching....

it's coming

2010-05-02T04:02:00.002-04:00

Summer is approaching. The following are indicators:

sweat. walking to the grocery store ends with a little perspiration on the forehead after just a 10 minute walk.
sun. my sunglasses are slowly finding their 'summer home' on my head all day long.
bugs. they are multiplying. they are everywhere. they are biting.
stripes. my feet have them again. the 'permanent' teva tan lines are more noticeable these days.
fan. it's been dusted off and has replaced the heater. my sleep is slowing becoming more dependent again on the fan being on.

Am I ready for another African summer? I guess I will find out in about a month when it arrives in full force!

lazy weekend, memory lane

2010-04-25T09:38:00.004-04:00

This weekend has been the slowest weekend I have had in about 3 months. I didn't leave my house at all yesterday (Saturday) and today the family I usually help with is out of town, so I am once again at home with nothing on the agenda. So far, this weekend I have:

- watched 3 movies....yes, 3. And it's only 2:45 p.m on Sunday. There's plenty of time left in the day!
- done 2 loads of laundry. I have vacation starting next week, and I gotta catch up on all of it so I can pack it.
- Slept without waking up til 7:30. The sun is up bright and early these days (about 5:30) and with the help of an old night mask from an Air France flight, I have managed to not be woken up by the sun streaming in. I've even managed to stay in bed til 8:30. Doesn't happen too often (much to my dislike!).
- walked to the grocery store (maybe 10 minutes away) to get out of the house. I went during lunch time and I suppose everyone was at home...it was actually nice to walk through the aisles to see if there's anything new and exciting here....don't worry, there isn't.

I have also been able to facebook-stalk my family and their pictures, and my brother has a new picture of Jenna up from softball. You can't see her face, but just looking at her, knowing she's growing up, learning how to play the game....I feel like she is just growing and maturing (don't worry, I know she and the others are still 100% kid too!) and makes me kind of miss the toddler version of Jenna whose favorite movie was "memo" and who wanted to go to "malmart" in gammy's "ban". So, in honor of all the nostalgia going on, here are some of my favorite pictures of my girls when they were younger, followed by them now.

Ellie

Jenna

Savannah

Charley

All of them @ Easter (Ellie is wearing heels...she's not quite a giant yet!)

Carpet Bags and the Holy Spirit

2010-04-20T09:32:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I feel like my bag that I carry everywhere is a bit like the carpet bag of the beloved nanny, Mary Poppins. I have gum at all times (certain little girls are fans these days of gum!), I have bubbles in case there's a moment of sheer boredom and borderline breakdown. There's some play-doh on hand because you just never know when the restaurant will take too long, the adults will talk too long, or the kids just won't play well together. Play-doh can save the day, even if just for 5 minutes. Add in the booklet of stickers, paper, and pens/pencils and it's a pretty well-packed bag for the unexpected moments where a rescue from boredom is needed!

Now, while I can't pull a hat stand out of my bag, it is nice to know that I'm somewhat prepared for whatever my day may bring. My days here are busy, somewhat sporadic, and at any moment I might find myself reaching for my bag of tricks. Sometimes, though, if I haven't needed to use any of the goodies inside for a while, I can forget I have them. Then I might find myself watching a kid and thinking, 'man, if only I had.....' and the whole time what I'm looking for is mere feet away from me.

I think I'm like that spiritually, too. Sometimes I forget I have the Holy Spirit in my life to give me wisdom, knowledge, patience, and a love for others. I can forget to 'use' my goodies and then suddenly find myself wishing I had them...when they are right there within me all along! The Lord has packed my 'bag' full of things to use...but when I don't use them, or when I get comfortable with the fact that I have them....I forget about them. And what good is having such amazing things at your disposal when you just keep them to yourself??

So, here's to unpacking my bag daily and remembering what I have at my fingertips!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-05T06:28:00.004-04:00

I love holidays, and Easter is no exception!! It's a great holiday with a HUGE meaning...my life would not be the same were it not for what happened on the cross and the resurrection that followed 3 days later.

So, needless to say, it's a cause for great celebration! And, while I would LOVE to be with my family, I have to say, my 'second family' here is a great group to do Easter with, too. We did egg hunts, pictures, crafts, egg-dyeing, worship, and a massive dinner that included a SMOKED HAM. That's right, HAM. I haven't had that in a looooong time. Here's some pics from our celebration...thanks Jesus for loving us and setting us free from sin's power! What a cause for celebration!!!

all you need is love...

2010-03-22T15:38:00.002-04:00

I was thinking about God's love today and the things it brings into our lives. So, nothing like a little concordance-surfing to find good reminders about His love. Hope they bring you joy, comfort, and peace!

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him - Psalm 32:10

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. - Psalm 36:7

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. - Psalm 63:3

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. - Psalm 86:15

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. - Psalm 119:76

He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor. - Proverbs 21:21

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. - Lamentations 3:22

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. - Zephaniah 3:17

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. - Romans 5:5

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! - 1 John 3:1

Amen, Amen

2010-03-14T05:48:00.002-04:00

The lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It's a song I have from Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY. It's a pretty great church that has pretty talented musicians and this particular song is from their Christmas album, but I listen to it year round. Enjoy!

Amen, Amen by Neil and Kate Robins

Let every creature rise and bring
their grateful praises to our King
Angels descend with songs again
And Earth repeats a loud Amen

Amen, Amen
Amen, Amen
I found my life
I found my life in Him
Amen, Amen

Peace like a river from His throne
will flow to nations yet unknown
His word a light where all hope is dim
and all tribes unite to cry “Amen”

Amen, Amen
Amen, Amen
I found my life
I found my life in Him
Amen, Amen

And in this Child we’ll find our rest
and all the meek and lowly blessed
An infant tongue could sing the hymn
of Hallelujah and Amen

pics

2010-03-11T03:42:00.003-05:00

Life has been busy here! People coming and going, lots of kids getting sick, and we have begun the spring invasion of visitors from now til June. Never a dull moment in springtime!

Here are a few pics from the past couple of weeks:

Kaedren at the beach...it was still a little chilly to really enjoy it, but it won't be too long now!

Little Drummer Girl...sporting her new cheerleader outfit that Grandma brought her.

Kolby eating zgougou, a dish made here for Mohammed's birthday. He's about the only foreigner I know that actually likes it...go for it, kid!

This is Julia, the newbie around here (well, aside from baby Alex). Gotta love that hair!

Is it really March??

2010-03-01T13:44:00.002-05:00

I can't even believe it's March. I mean we are in the 3rd month of 2010 already! This blows my mind, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I feel busy these days with lessons to write, kids to watch/teach/keep from destroying one another, etc etc etc....

Or maybe I'm getting 'old' and time just goes faster than it used to. It's not like I'm slaving away in school praying for the end of a semester to be in sight.

Whenever I get these "whoa life is going by fast!" moments, it reminds me of the procrastinating tendencies I have, how I can let things sneak up on me and then suddenly the time has come for something to be done and I wonder, 'how did that happen?'

I gotta break that habit...sigh. So adios for now, I got some work to do!

one year

2010-02-23T05:51:00.002-05:00

On Sunday, I hit the one year mark. A year ago, I landed in Africa with my luggage, one of my best friends, and no idea how the next season of life would go. A year later, I still have my luggage, and while my friend went back to her life in America, I have to say this year has been pretty good. Things that have changed in my life:

I don't have a car, so I have become a pedestrian. I haven't driven since being here. I miss the freedom and independence of having a car, but don't feel quite ready to tackle traffic and driving here. Not yet anyway.
I don't have an "8 to 5" kind of job. Sometimes I only have one thing 'to do' during the day. Sometimes I have days on end where I am going from house to house, watching kids for meetings, dates, classes, etc. My schedule is always changing. ALWAYS.
I am learning another language, and not just for kicks. I need it to function here. I can't just study for a few months and be like 'oh, well that was neat, but I think I'm done now." And it's a long process...reading the opposite direction, using letters that in no way resemble English, making sounds that aren't in the English language, trying to understand sayings and phrases that make no sense when literally translated, etc.
I feel my singleness here more than I did when I lived in KY. I'm surrounded by couples and families (who have been great blessings, no doubt). But, aside from my roommate, I have very limited contact with people that don't have kids. Not totally bad, but different. I miss my roommates from KY and going out with them and doing things together.
I miss my family, too. I have nieces who are growing and developing their personalities, interests, etc and I am not there to stay up to date on what music they listen to or what cartoon is their favorite or how school is going for them. This is the longest I've been without seeing my parents and my brother and his fam.
There's always the risk of an "intruder" in the house....flying, crawling, sneaking in. Cockroaches and cats....if only I were joking!

Things that haven't really changed:

My heart for people is still the same. I want to help and serve. I love what my job enables others to do. It's a good feeling knowing I am using something I'm good at to benefit others and to honor the Lord.
I still love kids (even after one year of non-stop kid work!). I enjoy my time with these kids and their families. They make me feel 'at home' and like I am a part of their families.
I still like the same things: I watch "The Office" every chance I get, I am always looking for new music, I still love watching movies and playing games. It's great to still be able to do these things and not feel like I've had to "give them up" by moving here.
I still have some of the same habits. I never make my bed (shocker, I know), I still want to eat breakfast first thing in the morning before talking to another person, I'm still a night owl and not a fan of mornings.

So, when I look at the list, my circumstances have changed a ton, but not "me"...I mean sure, there are things that I'm sure have changed, be it my perception of the people here, my understanding of culture, etc...but my values haven't changed. My personality hasn't changed. I still enjoy a good laugh, I still have that 'laid back' mentality (and when I say 'I dont care where we eat', I really mean it!), I still have a desire to serve people and love them well. It's nice to know I haven't lost those parts of 'me'.

Through it all, I am reminded of the consistency of God in this. No matter where I am at, He is there. No matter where I'm living, what I'm doing, or who I'm with, He's there. The things all around me can be changing for the rest of my life, but He is ever faithful to be there. The God who created everything by the mere words of His mouth, parted the sea for millions of people to walk through, raised the dead, conquered sin on our behalf...THAT is the God that's with me at my dining room table while I listen to the dog across the street bark as I type this. He was there when I got on the plane to come here, and He's still here. He's with me when I am babysitting a kid who won't take a nap, or who can't wait to play with a new toy from grandparents, or who is throwing a tantrum because they're exhausted and are still unaware of 'self-control'. He's with me when I'm having those heart to heart conversations about life, what to do, where to focus, etc. He's been here this whole time, keeping me safe from harm, helping my mind to grasp this language thing, weathering the 'culture shock' moments with me.

So the most important part about me has stayed the same: I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

I am so thankful that He has chosen to be in my life and has chosen to love me before I even knew Him, before I was even created. It's only with His consistent presence in my life that I can manage the ups and downs of being a foreigner in a strange land. Of course, that's what believers are called to be...different, set apart, foreign. So no matter where I live, be it in my hometown or across the globe, I will never really fit in with this world. And I think I'm ok with that.

chilly days

2010-02-17T03:47:00.002-05:00

It's winter even in Africa. When I tell people where I live, they either think I live in a grass hut (sorry, not in North Africa!) or that it's eternally summer because I live closer to the Sahara desert (maybe 4 or 5 hours away? not sure, haven't gone yet).

It's definitely NOT eternally summer. It's rainy these days, and the temperatures have been in the 50's or 60's during the day and we've hit the mid 30's at night a couple of times. I woke up the other morning and saw my breath as I sat in bed with all my blankets and hot water bottle. Granted, I hadn't had my heater on for a few hours, so with the heater, that wouldn't be the case....at least not in my room.

The buildings are concrete, there's no insulation, and the weather just permeates the house. If it's rainy, then its damp inside. If its windy, there's a draft and you can watch the curtains move without any open windows. It takes a few days of warm weather to heat the house back up. Likewise, it would take a few days of cooler weather to cool it off after the summer heat.

If I let myself I could probably complain about lots of things with this house. After all, there are houses out there that have central heat, mine's just not one of them. But the simple truth is this: I have a place to live. I have windows to block the rain from coming in and a roof over my head. I have a washing machine and refrigerator...things that plenty of people in this world live without. I have luxuries like a computer, tv, dvd player, movies, etc. There's food in my kitchen and clothes in my closet. Just this morning I caught myself grumbling because I didnt 'feel' like wearing any of the clothes I had. I could easily clothe myself in something different each day for weeks...and there are people who have the clothes on their back and that's it.

So, while winter can make life seem a little bleaker, and colder, it does not have the right to steal my thankfulness or my joy. I can't "blame it on the rain" (in the words [but not voices] of Milli Vanilli) and write off my complaints as something I "deserve" or "have the right" to do. So I am trying my best to keep a thankful heart...and hey, if I get a different house one day, awesome. But in the meantime, I am here, with these neighbors, in this neighborhood, and hopefully that's a blessing to those around me.

Baby Alex

2010-02-10T16:50:00.002-05:00

Forgot to add it to the last post...here's baby Alex! He's healthy and sweet and I think he looks like his sister!

What a week....

2010-02-10T16:23:00.003-05:00

Here's how the past 7 days have looked for me:

Last Thursday: Teach preschool. Make dessert for Bible study. Go to Bible study and learn that Veronica is having contractions. Reasa and I get excited, decide that I need to stay "up the hill" and not at my house (further away). Spend the night clutching the phone, waiting to get "the call" and walk over to watch Ellie.

Friday: Wake up at 7:15 realizing no baby yet. Go to language class. Talk about Veronica NOT having her baby...surely today! Teach Kolby preschool in the afternoon. Wait all day wondering, "How is Veronica?" Make brownies with Reasa for group dinner. Have dinner to welcome the new people. Now have 2 new families and 1 returning family that arrived this week. Decide to spend the night again at Reasa's "just in case".

Saturday: Wake up at 8 am realizing yet again no baby. Hang out with Jon and Reasa and eat pancakes for breakfast. Hang with Reasa and kids all day, with a visit from Veronica and Ellie. Eat dinner with LOTS of people in tiny restaurant. Decide that I'll just stay at my house tonight and Reasa can walk over if baby comes in the night. Go home. Watch movie. Get PJ's on. Get a text from Veronica asking if I can stay at their house tonight...baby is starting to come! Change out of PJ's, pack bag, stay at Veronica's.

Sunday: Wake up at 2 am to Veronica telling me they are leaving for the hospital. Get a text at 6:45 am that she's headed to delivery room. Take shower, get dressed, and get Ellie up. Get text at 8 am that says "pray hard, emergency c section". Eat breakfast with Ellie, pray hard, stay glued to my phone. Get several more texts from Reasa. Both of us try to figure out what's going on. FINALLY get a text 30 min later that baby and Veronica are fine. Breathe sigh of relief. Take Ellie to visit new brother that afternoon. Spend night at Veronica's.

Monday: Wake up, get Ellie up and ready for the day. Play at Reasa's. Take Ellie home after . Watch Ellie have emotional breakdown when Daddy comes home. Hang out with Veronica at the hospital all afternoon while daddy takes care of Ellie. Daddy and Ellie visit, watch another breakdown. Feel bad for Ellie and her Mommy as they feel each other's emotional pain in this transition. Take Ellie home, eat dinner with her and Daddy. Daddy heads back to hospital for the night. Watch Ellie go to bed much happier and say "Thanks" to Jesus for that! Bake chicken dinner for them to eat later. Set up meals to be delivered to them. Go to bed.

Tuesday: Wake up, get Ellie up and ready. Daddy comes to the house and watches Ellie while I go to class. Get back, Daddy goes back to hospital. Make lunch and put Ellie down for nap, make 50 sugar cookies for another group dinner, get house ready for Veronica and baby to come home. Welcome them home. Go to dinner @ Kristie's and go home.

Wednesday: SLEEP IN!!! Go to post office to pick up box. Realize "box pick up" has been moved to another building. Go to new place, pick up box, dig through Valentine's goodies. Get excited for Valentines day and make the mac n cheese Mom sent for lunch. Babysit boys, finish bible study, babysit boys again, home and now to bed.

There are things I'm forgetting, but it's a glimpse of all the changes going on around here!

pictures

2010-02-03T05:10:00.003-05:00

So some of you might know about the 365 Project, where you try to take a picture every day for a year. I have recently decided to try and do this. Why? I miss taking pictures (I usually just bust out the camera for parties or family pics or something) so this will make me take time to do something I really love doing every single day...sounds good to me! Hopefully I can keep it up, I made it through my first week successfully...only 51 weeks to go:-)

Check it out and join in the fun if you're up for the challenge!

http://365project.org/angiemarie81/365

dancin' machine

2010-01-31T13:46:00.002-05:00

Today I went to a birthday party for my neighbor's granddaughter, Noor. She turned 5, and I wasn't sure what the party would be like (being the first one I've gone to for a kid that isn't American and one I work with). Some friends, Ommi (the grandma), and I arrive and Michael Jackson is playing while 5 or 6 kids are dancing, all girls. There are a couple of boys there, but they weren't really into the dancing....at first.

Then, one little boy, Mohammed, hears a song that must be one he knows, and BAM! Let the dancing begin...this kid was SO fun to watch! Hope you enjoy!

let's take a walk....

2010-01-27T12:55:00.004-05:00

I walk a lot here. Walking to and from class, the store, friends' homes...lots of places. Here's a few random shots of what I see on a typical walk home. You can get a feel for the trash, stray cats, etc. as well as what some stuff looks like. The whole place isn't like this, but there's definitely plenty of this stuff around!

One of many trash heaps...anyone remember Fraggle Rock and Madame Trash Heap?

Kitty looking for dinner...

Some poorer homes...

random fun doors behind a hoopty "hasnt run in how many years?" car

laundry

2010-01-20T10:40:00.004-05:00

Here's a glimpse at one adjustment I'm still working on after 11 months of living here...

I have been doing my own laundry since I was in middle school. It's a chore that I really don't mind; I love fresh, clean-smelling clothes. I might let it stack up for a while, but I can get it done and out of the way in a day....well, I COULD. Living in Africa has me doing laundry without a dryer. In summer, it's no problem, my clothes can dry in 30 minutes in the hot sun! However, winter poses some difficulties. When you live in a house without heat, and the weather is damp and rainy, it takes DAYS to get a load of laundry dry...DAYS! Sometimes it's more annoying than ever. Here's how I've been drying some clothes today:

Meet DeLonghi. He's my heater, and helps keep me warm at night when I'm sleeping. Today I just rolled him into the living room and put him next to my roommate and I's "never gonna dry" clothes. Not exactly ideal, but does the job when your house is damp and refuses to let your clothes dry. Maybe one day I'll have a dryer....maybe:-)

Psalm 18...again

2010-01-17T04:49:00.002-05:00

A favorite psalm of mine, no doubt....I've blogged on it before, and here I am again!

I was reading it in the Message this morning and I like the way they write verses 20-24:

God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

A few things stick out to me:

Do I take God for granted? Do I take the "fresh start" that his grace gives us for granted?
Do I daily review the way he works? Do I take time each day to look for him at work in my life and in the lives of those around me?
If we open our hearts to him, he can change our lives, change the directions we are heading, make things new and fresh...how great is that?

So there ya go, a little Sunday morning reading for ya!

Visiting Ancona

2010-01-12T15:30:00.002-05:00

Last week I went to visit Ancona, Italy. I have friends who live there and I spent a summer there a few years ago. Every time I leave Africa and head to Europe, I am reminded of how different my life really is. A few observations:

My friends there spent 9 months in language school and were basically done with language. NINE MONTHS. I have friends here who have been here for YEARS and are STILL doing language lessons. Oh Arabic, how troublesome you can be!
Clean clean clean....I truly miss going down the road and not seeing trash heaps and litter EVERYWHERE. Sure there's the occasional wrapper or cup on the ground...but man, nothing like here.
Life here is CHEAP! The Euro is outrageous compared to our currency, and food, transportation, rent....all of it is so much more expensive there. I feel blessed to be living where I do and to not have that stress in my life!

Anyway, it was so fun to see old friends, see how life had changed for them, have lots of laughs and just enjoy that fellowship that being in The Body can bring! Now it's back to the grind for another season of work. New people arrive soon and my days will once again change and have new and different things on the schedule...such is my life!

so long "o's"....2010 is here!

2010-01-02T13:26:00.003-05:00

It will be weird to be done with saying "in o-9 such and such...". What do you say for 2010? Two thousand ten? Twenty ten? I suppose only time will tell...

Here's how I started my year...at the beach! Some friends invited me to come and asked if I could help watch their kids while they had some meetings. It was great to get out of the city and to get some beach time in! Evan and Kate are the kids I hung out with...cute, huh?

videos

2009-12-31T05:54:00.002-05:00

Here are some videos from this month that just make me smile. Enjoy!

First, we have Maisy sucking her thumb and it's so loud...the camera did NOT do it justice, but I promise, it's loud!

The next is Ellie having fun with a singing snowman:

And finally, we have Kaedren getting a workout on Wii boxing:

Christmas Day!!

2009-12-25T16:17:00.004-05:00

The alarm went off at 7:45 this morning. I instantly thought, "It's Christmas morning!"

The night before, I skyped with my family and was able to see my fam open presents I had picked out for them and it was fun to still be a part of Christmas with them. Here are two of my nieces talking to me during our call:

Back to this morning....while there was nothing in my stocking here, I had saved one present to open in the morning (did the rest last night on skype) from my family. It was a new scarf, and I am a big fan of it (as are my friends!). Scarf is below (with the "oo fancy" face):

After opening my present, checking emails, and eating cereal instead of mom's breakfast casserole, I went to work baking chicken, making mac n cheese, and fixing apple cider for our Christmas gathering here! The day was filled with kids, songs, food, more food, even more food, presents, and fellowship:-)

Now, I am in my room while my roommate's friends sing Christmas carols in French and I am thankful that, though my Christmas is far different this year than it ever has been before, it still feels very much like Christmas: we are remembering and being thankful for the birth of Jesus and for what that means for our lives today. Thanks Jesus for coming!

Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T12:45:00.003-05:00

It's Christmas Eve!!! I am currently curled up on the couch with "Miracle on 34th Street" on and waiting for my family to get together so we can skype and do presents together!

Today, I hosted a Christmas cookie decorating party and there was plenty of sugar around! Later I had a nice fondu lunch with my roommate and then I went to a family's house to do some caroling together (complete with piano and candlelight!). Here's a few pics of the cookie fun! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Adam

2009-12-23T06:34:00.003-05:00

Growing up, my brother and I would always talk about how the 23rd is Christmas Adam. So, Happy Christmas Adam!

What does my "adam" have in store?? Well, I've baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and I plan on making some sugar cookies for the kids to decorate tomorrow. I will have lunch with my neighbors, and my roommate and I will be bringing them some Christmas cookies and hopefully a chance to talk about Christmas, since most people I've met here seem to think Christmas is just another holiday to celebrate a new year.

I've probably never made and frosted so many sugar cookies as I have this year. My friend has been inviting people over to experience some "Christmas" traditions and so I've been around to watch them have fun with cookies and hear them ask questions about Christmas and other holidays. Here are some pics of the festivities:

Despite being away from family, its been a good season. Tomorrow (I think) I will get to skype with my family and do presents together...Praise the Lord for technology!!!

Hope your Christmas is blessed!

snapshots

2009-12-12T16:13:00.006-05:00

Some pics of life the past few weeks:

My Bible study group went bowling...if you can read the screen, you can see the pathetic score I got...seriously, a 4. All of us concurred the floor wasn't level (since nothing in this country is!). The highest score was 70!

Christmas has arrived! I went to the post office to pick up 2 packages from my mom and one from a friend, and the workers were nice enough to tie them together for easier carrying. The guy at the post office recognizes me and always greets me with a big "ANGELA!", said with a French pronunciation. He is also fascinated with my last name, since it is nothing like the Arabic names here. He's still not too great at pronouncing it, but I'm sure he'll get there.

Here's the humble Christmas tree. I was glad it wasn't super tiny, but it's still smaller than what I am used to. This was taken before the 'real' presents arrived...my roommate has some fake ones around:-)

before and after

2009-11-30T12:47:00.003-05:00

Well, I survived Eid Kebir. I didn't have to see the actual "slaughter" happen, so that's a plus in my book! Here are a few (not too gross) pics of before and after....kinda weird to see him and eat him 2 hrs later, but he tasted good:-) The kids put ribbons on him and play with him before he dies. Then they kill him, skin him, blow out everything in his intestines/stomach, and cut him up, throw some liver and smaller pieces on a little grill, and that's the first thing we ate (not a big fan of liver, FYI). The whole city smelled like smoke and burning sheep heads (there are literally fires every couple of blocks where people take the cut off head to burn it). The gutters were filled with water and blood from everyone rinsing off their driveways/patios/whatever. The guy in the blue is the butcher that goes around from house to house to do the slaughtering.

Black Friday

2009-11-22T15:43:00.006-05:00

Sheep are everywhere. In the back of taxis, in flocks blocking traffic, on the side of highways. Some are being pulled by little boys and some have scarves, ribbons, etc attached to them by children. It's a rather odd time here in Africa...at least for me.

In 4 days, my fellow Americans and I will be gathering together and celebrating Thanksgiving. Some kids will get to miss school and we will eat turkey and have pies and try to make it feel as much like 'home' as we can.

In 5 days, Eid Kebir happens....and thousands of sheep will be slaughtered all over the country (and Muslim world). They will bring a sheep home, keep it for a few days, and then kill it in front of the entire family. There will be children who will watch the sheep they've gotten attached to be killed, butchered, cleaned out...the works. This will be my first experience with this holiday. Friends have told me stories of horrible smells as there are burned sheep heads/wool/etc left over. They have told me of literally seeing blood run in the gutters of the streets as people hose down their patios and clean up. I am not looking forward to this.

It makes me thankful that I have faith in Jesus and that His sacrifice is once and for all. It makes me thankful that His death brought about life and that even death could not conquer Him. It brings about a reminder that His death meant the end of sacrifices and what a wonderful thing that really is - and what a huge gift from God that was. To imagine Jesus' sacrifice - his innocent blood being spilled - what an act of love. So many people here will slaughter their sheep not out of love but out of obligation. Grace is not a factor in their lives...they must live by the letter to make it. It makes my heart sad.

So for sure, this year's Thanksgiving will be far different from any other I've had. Aside from new people, not being with family, and no one else getting the day off or watching football in the afternoon, there will be a deep appreciation in my heart for the fact that the next day, I will not need to slaughter an animal to maintain my relationship with God. He's done all the hard, gruesome work that I can't begin to think about doing myself. His love is so big, and I am so thankful for it!

Not exactly what comes to mind when you think of "black friday", is it?

How He Loves

2009-11-14T08:12:00.002-05:00

In Bible Study we've been digging into 1 John. This book has always been a favorite of mine. Maybe it's because I spent a year of college translating it from Greek (and no, I don't remember any Greek....shhh don't tell my profs). I think one reason is that its a great book about God's love and what living that love out looks like as a believer.

In 1 John 4:16, we read that we can rely on the love God has for us. I like how that's worded. We hear all the time that we can rely on God, and no doubt about it, that's true. But I love this verse because it tells us we can rely on his love for us. It tells me that I can rest assured He loves me. And its not just a 'fondness' or shallow love....it's one I can depend on. He LOVES me. Earlier in 1 John we read that we can depend on him more than our own hearts and emotions. So even if we don't 'feel' like His promises are true or that He really loves us unconditionally, we can depend on Him and His love to overpower the doubts that fill our hearts.

Right now I can think of so many people I know all over the world who are going through seasons of life where this truth is a 'must-have' for day to day living. I know people who are finding themselves in a life they never pictured having, and aren't sure that they really are loved by God in a rich and unconditional way. There are people experiencing losses that crush the spirit and crises that challenge the steadfastness of the soul.

Life and our emotions can speak lies to us, telling us that 'this is as good as it gets' or 'some people are just luckier than you' or 'if you did more/gave more/moved/got married/took the job/quit the job/etc/etc/etc then you would be ok'. I'm not buying it. It's packaged with pretty bows and looks appealing...but I'm not buying it. Because all those doubts and lies show me that I'm NOT living in His love, NOT relying on it to be all I need, and NOT believing that He can and does and wants to love me more than anyone else ever can or will.

Sometimes we just need to hear it. That's why His word is there. We can turn to it over and over and over...we can hide it in our hearts and ask Him to speak His love over us. There's a song, How He Loves, that several of us at Bible Study have been listening to and dwelling on these days. I'll end with that and pray that you feel His love for you today!

How He Loves - Kim Walker

Trick or Treat

2009-11-01T08:38:00.003-05:00

HALLOWEEN....a favorite holiday of mine. Last night a friend hosted a halloween party and I went with some friends and it was definitely impressive. Great food, great decorations, lots of creativity. However, on the way to their house, we were sitting at a stoplight when, to the right of us, a 'geiser' of most likely sewage burst out of the ground, like ole Faithful. It had to be a minimum of 20 or 30 feet in the air. I can't tell you how gross that was to see, and even now my stomach turns just thinking about it. DEFINITELY DISGUSTING!! Praise the Lord we were far away from it...the thought of it landing on people or cars....even more disgusting.

So enter 'trick or treat': While feeling the 'treat' of celebrating a favorite holiday with other Americans who love it, the 'trick' comes in being reminded that I don't live in America (i.e. geiser of sewage at a stoplight) makes this holiday seem a little smaller than it used to feel. Why can't everyone enjoy it like I do? :-)

Nonetheless, we had a great time and here's some pics from the night's festivities:

For this...I have Jesus

2009-10-28T09:36:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday. It was my first birthday overseas, and I wasn't sure what it would be like. My friends did a fabulous job of showering me with notes, cards, gifts, meals, cupcakes (complete with fall sprinkles!!), and a night of wii! I loved sharing time with everyone who came, and I always am amazed how people love on me. The kids drew me pictures that will definitely go up on the fridge for a while!

At the end of the day, I was thinking through my day and, while it was a great day, I couldn't stop thinking 'man, if only ____ were here too'. There were a few people that came to mind: my family, my best friends who live on opposite sides of the world from me (one is 7 hours behind me, one is 8 hours ahead!), people who have been a part of my life for a while, who have celebrated birthdays with me in the past....the people who make me feel 'at home'.

More and more I realize just how distant 'home' is. I know if I moved back to America tomorrow, it would feel like home...for a while. Then I would begin to miss the families here that make up the day-to-day life I have here. With every move I have made, the harder it becomes to define 'home'.

I'm housesitting these days and on the dry erase board in front of me is a quote that says, 'For this...I have Jesus'. That phrase has been stuck in my head ever since my friend wrote it up there months ago. When I feel homesick for a home that doesn't exist....I have Jesus to walk with me and bring me comfort. When I am feeling loved on and appreciated....I have Jesus to thank and to celebrate with. When I all I want to do is see my nieces or watch the fall leaves change or be able to stay connected with friends in deeper ways than an email once a week or phone call every month or two....I have Jesus. I have His example of looking to the Father to meet His needs. I have His promise of being with me wherever I am. I have His peace to rule my heart and mind.

The best birthday present? Being reminded that I have all I need WITH me every single day.

hooked on phonics....

2009-10-21T17:31:00.002-04:00

Ellie is well on her way to reading. Sure, you can't understand what she's saying, but c'mon, she'll turn 2 next month. She seriously is one of the most talkative kids I know, and when she's not 'reading' you usually can understand what she's saying...usually:-).

PACKAGES!

2009-10-19T08:48:00.004-04:00

For anyone who has spent any length of time overseas, we all know the excitement that receiving mail can bring. Even if it's just a letter, it's so nice to see that familiar stamp, handwriting, language...it's like a breath of fresh air to know that you are thought of and loved even when you aren't able to live life next door to the people you care about the most. And while I know that I can 'live' without so many of the familiar things, it's definitely so nice to see them again and feel a little more at home and 'normal'.

So, needless to say after 8 months of life in Africa, when I received 3 packages in the midst of 2 weeks, I felt loved! Some of the familiar and missed things:

hot chocolate packets
instant oatmeal packets
dried cranberries
pepperoni
jell-o pudding
taco seasoning
mac n cheese
mountain dew!
chai tea
my favorite gum (orbit wintermint)

Some of the extra goodies:

clothes I ordered that seem impossible to find here (still learning where to look)
halloween socks
a new book to read
candy corn!
cards I can give my kids (in ENGLISH) for their birthdays!

Thanks to everyone who ever sends anything to anyone living overseas...it's amazing and makes a day/week/month/season seem so much brighter!

necks and fish eyes

2009-10-12T09:55:00.002-04:00

Seven months after moving to Africa, the tradition of a weekly meal with the neighbors continues. These times have proven to be great and challenging at the same time. Its great to see the way they love and appreciate my roommate and I. On the flip side, they want to offer their best in food, which can mean eating things that are not exactly on my list of "top 5 meals I love to eat".

Example 1: A neck. Not sure if it was from a chicken or a turkey, but there was definitely a neck (attached to a rib cage) on my plate not too long ago. Thankfully, there's not much meat to a neck. And it really didn't taste that bad, I just don't think I enjoy looking at a neck and ribcage hanging out on my plate.

Example 2: Fish. Not that strange, I like seafood. But when the head is still attached, that's a little more strange for me. Given the nature of culture here, eating with your hands is not all that uncommon. So, with no fork in sight, my hands and I set out to eat this meal. While talking with the neighbor, I grabbed my fish (without looking at where my hands were) and very firmly put my finger through the eye of the fish. It took every muscle in my body to restrain an "OH MY GOSH THIS IS DISGUSTING" face and reaction. I can't describe how gross it feels to puncture an eye of a fish.....gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.

I think I will stick to boneless chicken and fish fillets without heads when cooking for myself.

Italy

2009-10-10T18:32:00.003-04:00

So I went to Italy last week...amazing! So nice to get out and see a change of scenery. No dirty trash heaps, no foul smells for no apparent reason, no stray cats lurking around every corner. Some favorite things: PORK!! I miss sausage and ham and all those wonderful pizza toppings. I am pretty sure I had pork every day. I also had fresh baked pastries and fresh pizza. There was plenty of fresh pasta too. A highlight was the afternoon I got to spend in the park. There was GRASS...and lots of it! There were plenty of trees and a cool breeze and it felt amazing to sit outside and relax. I don't think I have done that since moving. It was so refreshing!

I needed the break, and it was a bit hard to come back to Africa, but how sweet of the Lord to have a package arrive my first day back! It was all wrapped in birthday wrapping paper and it was full of things I miss: craisins, my favorite gum, instant oatmeal, and hot chocolate! It also had a new book and some music. Its the little things you miss that can brighten your day so much!

Eid Mabrouk!

2009-09-21T13:45:00.002-04:00

Ok, it's official...Ramadan is over! The past two days have been filled with family gatherings, lots of eating, kids getting new clothes, and a celebration to end the month of fasting in the Muslim calendar. Here's some things that I'm noticing:

All the kids get a new outfit at the Eid (kind of like Christmas for us). I walked around yesterday and every kid I saw was in a new outfit and the teen girls made sure that their hair and makeup was done.
Not so exciting, all the boys have new toy guns to play with. Most of them are pop cap guns. So you hear boys setting off fire crackers and shooting their guns ALL DAY for 2 DAYS! They like to take shots at your car as you drive by...kind of violent, don't ya think?

So, I guess life goes back to 'normal' now. There are restaurants to go to once again. I don't have to worry about drinking a bottle of water in public or chewing gum and someone noticing and getting offended or upset. Hopefully the tempers of hungry, dehydrated people living in a desert climate will go down.

And, as we finish day two of the celebration, a cool and refreshing rain falls over the city. It's been raining for 2 hours...slow and steady, the longest it's rained in months and a sure sign that fall is here. And with it I already feel refreshed and energized to keep on keepin' on with life here!

the newbies

2009-09-12T16:38:00.003-04:00

Here they are...the latest and greatest additions to my life! No, not my kids...:-) Though they were due 5 weeks apart, they were only 12 days apart!! Maisy (left) was 8 days late and Kyler (right) was 2 weeks early! I love hanging out with these guys already!!

Psalm 18

2009-09-10T17:43:00.002-04:00

I love the psalms. Maybe it's the 'feeler' in me, but my heart resonates with them in any and every season of life. There are the psalms of hope and joy; then there are those of sadness, disappointment, and a 'where are you Lord?' mentality. There are psalms of repentance and psalms of renewed commitment. Some speak of the need for God to do a redeeming and renewing work in the heart. Some speak of great gratitude and praise for God and all that He is and all that He has done and promises to do.

So, I thought I'd share one of my favorites. Waterdeep has a "Psalm 18" song that has been a favorite of mine for years. It is actually what made me curious to read that particular psalm, and ever since then, i've been hooked! I love how it goes into great detail to speak of how the Lord heard and acted on the cry of his child. And not just a 'oh let me go get my kid out of trouble again' but a 'whoa don't ANYONE mess with MY kid...I will show you MY POWER!" It's good to know He's jealous for my affection and is protective of me...I especially love verse 19 at the end where it says '...he delighted in me.' How great to know God delights in His children. He doesn't tolerate or deal with or put up with them...he DELIGHTS in them. It doesn't get much better than that!

Ok enough of me...read for yourself!

Psalm 18

¹ I love you, O LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³ I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

⁴ The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

⁵ The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

⁶ In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

⁷ The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.

⁸ Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

⁹ He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

¹⁰ He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.

¹¹ He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

¹² Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

¹³ The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.

¹⁴ He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.

¹⁵ The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

²⁰ The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

²¹ For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
I have not done evil by turning from my God.

²² All his laws are before me;
I have not turned away from his decrees.

²³ I have been blameless before him
and have kept myself from sin.

²⁴ The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

²⁵ To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

²⁶ to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

²⁷ You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.

²⁸ You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

²⁹ With your help I can advance against a troop ;
with my God I can scale a wall.

³⁰ As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

³¹ For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

³² It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

³³ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

³⁵ You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

³⁶ You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

³⁷ I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

³⁸ I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.

³⁹ You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

⁴⁰ You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.

⁴¹ They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.

⁴² I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.

⁴³ You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
you have made me the head of nations;
people I did not know are subject to me.

⁴⁴ As soon as they hear me, they obey me;
foreigners cringe before me.

⁴⁵ They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.

⁴⁶ The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!

⁴⁷ He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,

⁴⁸ who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me.

⁴⁹ Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.

⁵⁰ He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
to David and his descendants forever.

What's it like?

2009-09-08T10:53:00.002-04:00

"What's it like?"

That's a question I hear a lot from family and friends about my life here. What's it like to live there? Here are a few things to give you an idea of the day-to-day living:

Today I bought "Dulce and Gabbana" sunglasses for a whopping 3 bucks...clearly fakes, but they block the sun, and that's the goal.
Windows here don't have screens. This allows for flying ants, flying cockroaches, and mosquitos to come in! Also, if I leave my living room window open, I can expect to see my neighbor's cat perch herself in it and try to come inside. She's been successful once or twice!
You have to wash your vegetables (not that different from home). However, I have found catepillars more than once in my lettuce. Still alive, just making their way through all the leaves. Yum.
I have never, EVER seen SO MUCH DUST in all my life! Something about living a few hours north of the Sahara just increases your dust levels drastically! I am beginning to loathe mopping this tile house of mine.
A 2 liter of bottled water costs a whopping $0.20!
A canister of grated parmesean cheese (if you can find it) costs $14!
Waiting in line is a concept that is loosely held to here. Sometimes all is well, people wait their turn, and things get done. However, I have had people walk up and just shove their way in front of me (as if I am ok with this?). I have had people jump ahead of me in line at the store because (from what little I understood) 'they have a son and not very much to buy'. I had ONE thing in my hand...ONE!
And traffic...well that's when the "loosely held" idea of waiting is thrown (rather forcefully) out the window! Who cares that the road was made for two lanes? Let's make 5! And, let's be sure to use the turn lane to cut off the other lanes going straight! Oh traffic....

So that's what it's like here, at least partially. There's plenty more to life here, but we can't use them all in one blog, right??

latest and greatest

2009-09-04T15:43:00.003-04:00

So, here's the latest and greatest things happening in my life these days:

It's officially September! Shouldn't that mean cooler weather???? No fall here...well, not yet anyway. Today's high was 97 degrees.
Susie had her baby! Maisy Lucia was born Sunday (Aug 30) and she is PRECIOUS. I love newborns, they are so sweet. All members of the family are doing well, resting, and it's so exciting to have another kid to add to our 'family' here!
I joined a gym here! I haven't gone yet, but today I went with a friend and her daughter to sign up and get the picture taken for the ID card. Monday begins the workout regime. Aside from walking on uneven pavement/sidewalk (which either ruins your ankles or makes them stronger...depending on shoes/weather), there's not a lot of exercise going on in my life these days. This will be great!
I went to my neighbors' house to 'break the fast' (it's Ramadan here, so they fast during daylight hours) tonight...it felt anti-climactic. I am sure it depends on the family as to how religious, traditional, etc it is. This just seemed like a bunch of hungry people whose only focus was to scarf down what was in front of them. They also have quite a sweet tooth during Ramadan! Lots of treats with honey on them. I probably have a new cavity after tonight!
My internet is working properly! It's taken 6 months to fix my problems, but now all is well and I am so excited to be able to do all I need online from my own house! It's the little things that make life more comfortable.

And here is a new fave of Ellie. It shows her joy and that's something that I gotta remember to keep asking for in my life. This week I had a great conversation that was reaffirming of me being here and my role with these kids. I love them and I love that God wants me to be here to help shape them into the people He's intended them to be. That kind of stuff makes "my cup runneth over."

ABC's

2009-08-28T05:29:00.003-04:00

So I started teaching pre-school this week with Kolby. It's been good so far and a lot of fun! Here's a video of him doing his ABC's...i love my job!

kids these days

2009-08-11T11:59:00.003-04:00

here's some photos of the kids these days. I am starting to realize that they are growing fast! It's hard to believe I've been here almost half a year!

haircut....

2009-07-28T06:10:00.003-04:00

Well, as most of you know, I am not always the quickest to get a haircut. Going 6 months without one is no big deal to me. However, my friends here were getting one and they decided I needed to join them and get my first 'North African' haircut. So, we got up Saturday morning and set off for another 'first' for me.

We get there and the place is FULL! It's wedding season here, and the bride can spend up to 8 hours just getting her hair done! The women of the family all join her at the salon, but usually they just sit around and wait for her (I would find this QUITE boring!). So, while it looked very busy, we actually were able to get in fairly quick.

I was nervous, I won't lie. Curly hair has a mind of its own, and it's hard to trust someone to cut it and not turn it into some poodle-looking haircut. Reasa and I both love long hair, so we just wanted a 'trim' and we kept repeating 'shweya shweya shweya' (the word for 'little'). Apparently the guy had a different idea of what a little is...and 4 inches later, my hair was cut. He didn't do so great with layering, but thankfully my curls help hide it. But i spent about $11 so I can't really complain.

Here's the finished product (and yes, I realize this is probably still 'long hair' to many of you, but it's short for me!):

A day at the beach

2009-07-21T17:08:00.003-04:00

Today I went to language class this morning for three hours. I've been behind on things (missing a whole week of class = 15 hours of class time gone), so I have a hard time keeping up with all the new words thrown out there in conversation. But, today I had trouble keeping up for another reason: I knew a trip to the beach was coming!

I love the beach. I am not a swimmer, so you would think that I would have an aversion to all things water. But this is simply not the case. I love the ocean, I love waves, I love sun and sand...all of it!

Recently my roommate has acquired the use of a car for the month while it's owners are traveling out of the country. This car means FREEDOM! So today, we decided to take advantage of such freedom and, after my class and a nice lunch with the neighbors, we took a trip to the beach. We were only there about two hours, but it was glorious! Afterwards, we stopped at one of the big stores here and picked up some things and had dinner.

Things like this make summer fun and exciting for me. Here are some pictures of things we saw while at the beach...definitely not your typical American beach!

The ice cream guy stopping to buy cigarettes from the cigarette guy

The fully covered women in the first picture are now swimming...fully covered

Anybody want a camel ride? I saw six different ones today

sick....

2009-07-16T07:13:00.002-04:00

I hate being sick. I can tolerate head colds, allergies, sinuses, sore throats, and the like. Not my favorite things, by any means, but I can tolerate them. But stomach bugs.....they are evil. I have had a stomach bug since Sunday (now it's Thursday). I have been barely able to eat more than crackers most of the time. I had my first experience with a doctor here (she was very nice and spoke English), so I guess that's one more 'new' thing I can add to my experiences in Africa so far.

The doc told me a bug has been going around, and I just have to let it run it's course. Well I sure wish it would finish up! I had been hoping for a shorter course than this...apparently this bug is into marathons. So as I sit in my room all day, every day, taking medicine that tastes chalky and not-too-pleasant and taking nap after nap, I have to think about how much I really do like being healthy and able to do things. I have been missing out on an intensive language course this week, hanging out with friends, seeing people who have been gone for a month, working with the kids, etc. My day to day life is pretty good, and I miss it. While I have a great roommate who has been more than kind to me and my ailing stomach, I cannot wait to be free from my house and able to see real, live people again.

So here's to hoping and praying this bug is on the home stretch!

skype

2009-07-11T18:09:00.003-04:00

My world has changed because of this amazing invention of skype. Free video chatting...for me, it's how I maintain sanity sometimes. Life here in Africa is going ok, but it's not home. I have great friends and great kids to work with, but at the end of the day, I go home to a roommate who is Swiss and has lived here for 4 years and is able to go home each year without near the expense. I don't go home to a family where I can debrief my day, the things I find strange or funny or fascinating. I mean don't get me wrong, my roommate is a good one, but our schedules rarely line up for us to have more than a few minutes of chatting in a day. Most of my friends here are with their husbands and wives and kids and they have that 'home' feeling even if they aren't in the States.

This is where skype enters the picture. Mostly, I use it to talk to my parents and catch up on life and funny things going on or the latest news with friends and family. Today, I got the change to talk with my nieces, which was wonderful! I find myself surrounded by kids all the time here yet always thinking of 'my girls'. I see kids here do something funny or say something that will often remind me of one of 'my girls'. So to see them and talk with them today was like God giving me a little treat that makes the rest of life seem a little easier, a little sweeter, and though it was difficult to explain to a 4 year old why I won't be coming to her new house anytime soon, it was fun to hear them talk about their new house, new schools, and to say HI five hundred times:-)

The best feature on skype: snapshots! So, enjoy a few pics (be they ever so blurry) of my favorite kids in the whole world (minus one who was apparently having nap time when we were talking):

language

2009-07-03T12:05:00.006-04:00

Maybe it's because I'm in a language intensive right now, but living in a country where English is not too common, the need for language skills is HUGE. I am surrounded by Arabic and French, neither of which I studied before I came here. So, of course I chose Arabic to study when I arrived....because that's easier, right?? :-)

A glimpse of the everyday things in life:

Kleenex anyone?

Thankfully spices have familiar names in French (well, most of them)

Who really needs to know nutritional info anyway?

Helpful in learning my fruits!

The ever-present bottle of water (a must in the summer!)

Amazingly though, I am actually starting to make a little sense out of the 'dots and squiggles' of Arabic. I am by no means great at this language, and won't be for many years to come, but it is rewarding to see labels and at least recognize the letters, even attempt to sound things out!

It's all about baby steps, right?

Replacements

2009-06-25T09:57:00.002-04:00

I've been hitting the stage where I've been here long enough that I have had to find 'replacements' for things. Examples are:

the search for mousse that will tame the beast known as my hair. I have tried two different brands now, and while they do the job, I am not convinced that they are going to be brands I stick with, so as soon as this can runs out, the next attempt will begin
cereal - there aren't a lot of options here, and most of them are not that great. At home, I tended to eat honey bunches of oats with strawberries or life. Now, I eat "fitness" every day.
shampoo and conditioner - while they have some familiar brands here, they don't have what I normally use. So now I'm a Dove/Pantene mix (how strange that they sell Dove shampoo but no conditioner?)
Taxis, metros, and my two feet are the main sources of transportation for me. I haven't driven in four months!

There are some things though that I am just learning to live without. Things like nonstick cooking spray, oatmeal, air conditioning in every room, and carpet (oh the joys of mopping floors sooooo often!). Not big things, but still things that are comfortable and 'normal'.

Thankfully I don't have to replace or live without Jesus and His love and presence. He's right here with me, mopping up the dirt that blows in every day and He's with me while I walk around town or practice my "turn right, turn left, stop here" in taxis. He's there when I miss my family and there when the kids here unexpectedly love on me with big hugs and smiles.

So it's good to know that's the one thing I'll never have to be without, wherever I am.

Granny Smith

2009-06-17T09:13:00.002-04:00

Granny Smith. I don't know who she was, but I sure do love her apples.

Going to France last week brought me the sweet surprise of Granny Smith apples. They were big, they were fresh, and they were nearly perfect in size, texture, tartness...it was amazing. I have had apples in Africa...they are usually mushy, bruised, and tiny. They pale in comparison the Granny Smith in all her splendor.

I was so glad to find her. I can't remember how many I had that week, but I do remember feeling quite happy each time I ate one.

Other treasures in France I discovered:

Cherry Coke. Granted, there's one place I know of here that sells it...but I don't make it there very often. To see cherry coke in every store...pretty sweet!
Maple Syrup. I bought some and brought it home and can't wait to make some pancakes!
Peanut M&M's. Well, M&M's in general, but the family I was with liked peanut ones, so that's what we had.
A store with more than one toy aisle. And toys that weren't going to break within 5 minutes of playing with them. When you're around kids all the time, that's a big deal!
Bacon. Only had it on a sandwich....but it was nice while it lasted!

Now it's back to normal. Back to life that is void of Granny Smith. I'll miss her, but hope to see her again soon.

a little humor....

2009-05-19T06:36:00.002-04:00

Life here is never dull. Here are some things that I have found humorous (be they ever so 'insensitive' of me). You gotta keep laughing, right? Otherwise life loses it's flair.

I have a lady in my Arabic class who is from Gambia. We have been learning how to discuss our family (i.e. my mother is...my father is...etc etc). Well, today I learned that her brother's name is Doodoo. Yup, Doodoo.
I eat lunch on Tuesdays with my neighbor and one of the main ingredients in her soups is artichoke. I don't mind it, so that's not the problem. The word for artichoke is ganeria, which sounds strikingly similar to "gonorrhea". So as she insists that I have more ganeria, I can't hep but smile.
I was at a friend's house and her daughter had just finished lunch. There was a girl visiting who informed us Americans that the daughter needed to put her shoes back on, or she will have gas later. Feet...digestive system....I don't know that I can see the connection.
I need to purchase a fan for my room. In the meantime, I am borrowing one from my roommate. This fan is great...when it decides to work. It takes about 5 minutes to actually start oscillating once you turn it on. And it will suddenly stop working and all you hear is the hum of electricity. I wonder if it will burst into flames or something one day. Hope not!
One of the kids I watch told me that I should get married when I'm 50 (I wonder if he's been talking to my dad). He also told me I should become an Italian teacher when I'm 60. He had no advice for the 23 years between now and 50.

Gotta love the things that make you smile!

lately

2009-05-16T05:52:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I've written on here. Life is busy, language is going ok, and I have a lot of kids here that keep me entertained. I can tell when I haven't seen some of them in a while, I really do miss them! People wonder how I don't get tired of hanging out and building forts, coloring pictures, playing with cards, reading stories, and making some great fake food....but these kids and their families are really a blessing to me. When you live overseas and have no 'family' with you, you soon discover the 'family' here that makes you feel at home. Here's some pics of the kiddos that keep me busy:

observations

2009-04-13T07:46:00.002-04:00

Some random things I've seen/noticed since living here about two months now:

- the other day I saw the equivalent of an 'ice cream truck'. It was a man who was pushing a cart with ice cream and he was blowing a whistle that made a truly obnoxious noise.

- traffic lights still perplex me. My American mind cannot figure out how people here feel the right to go when the light clearly is red. Strange.

- Fruit is mega cheap. When in season, I can get a kilo of strawberries for less than a buck. I like this!

- if it's raining, there is no point in me trying to do laundry. It will take days to dry. Especially in a house with no heat.

- there's nothing like going to the bakery to buy baguettes and arriving just in time for hot, fresh bread. mmm!

- when it rains, it pours. The streets flood on a regular basis and I have heard stories of the tunnels flooding and people dying....remind me not to take a tunnel in the rain!

- my best language practice is playing cards with the neighbor kids. Thanks Uno!

- the trash truck is actually a trash tractor that comes by every night and picks up the trash you put out by the street. The trick is waiting long enough so that the cats don't dig into it, but not so late that you miss the pick up.

That's life here!

Elevator Music

2009-04-01T10:33:00.003-04:00

So every Tuesday my roommate Gabriela and I have lunch with our neighbor downstairs and her family. Usually it's a chance for me to sit, smile, say "hello", "thank you", "yes", "no", and "goodbye". Thankfully my roommate translates and one of the ladies speaks enough English that we are starting to have more conversations.

So, as I get used to being with these ladies ("Omi" is the elderly woman who lives below us - I have no idea what her real name is, but she's called "Omi" by everyone, so that's what I'll call her - and her daughter is Salma), I am beginning to chime in more on conversation (when I actually know what's going on).

Well, yesterday we were sitting there, finishing up some sort of carrot soup, salad, and another soup with lamb, when I started to notice that one of the men in the house had turned on some music...and I recognized it! "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton...an instrumental rendition that sounded a bit like synthesizers and keyboards and nothing else. Could it really be elevator music? Salma and I talked about the lyrics of the song, about Eric Clapton's son dying, and that was about it.

I didn't think much of it. But then "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel came on...again, to the same calibur as the first. And then Elton John, Whitney Houston, and Celine Dion songs played throughout the house. I felt like I should be pushing a grocery cart and looking for the best price on cereal or something. I NEVER knew people bought elevator music and listened to it at home. I almost want to make a CD of the real songs and give it to them. Why settle for imitation?

So that's how Tuesdays go for me...always something new!

Life these days...

2009-03-09T09:08:00.002-04:00

I've officially been in Africa for 2 weeks and 2 days. Today as I was walking to my friend's house, I decided to take a closer look at the trash that lines the streets. I don't really know why I thought this was a good idea, but I suppose I was just curious to see what exactly I'm walking on/around. So here goes:

there's a huge trash pile that I walk past and, given the heat, can be quite smelly. Today there was an entire sheepskin on the pile. and I mean ENTIRE sheepskin. Today being Mohammed's birthday, there's probably going to be more of that on the way home.
There were about 15,000 empty yogurt cups
I saw a pair of shoes that had been covered in the flooded streets a couple of days ago and were now a lovely shade of brown
Some used hygiene products that I just don't even want to remember seeing
As always, food, food, and more food. Particularly orange peels and banana peels.

So, that's the less exotic, less beautiful side of life here. You learn not to breathe in too deep and to walk a little quicker. Such is life!

Isn't she lovely??

2009-02-15T18:26:00.002-05:00

It's no secret I adore my nieces...Here are a few pics from this weekend (the last time I will get to see them before I move to Africa!). Enjoy!

packing

2009-02-10T10:29:00.002-05:00

I have been working on packing the past week or so and some things just don't change - I think the only thing I hate more than packing is unpacking.

With the airline weight limits and the insane extra baggage fees, it truly is becoming an artform, this packing business. Vacuum sealed bags definitely help with space, but unfortunately the stuff still weighs the same. I've never been one for accumulating a lot of stuff, but as I pack I realize I have way more than I thought. Sigh.....

The picture shows my humble beginnings at packing. The suitcases are pretty well stuffed with clothes and books (books have to be the hardest thing to pack...so little, yet so heavy). The tub has bedding, some crafty things, some breakables, toiletries, and other random things that I could shove into spaces here and there. There's another tub in another room full of books, movies, art stuff, and more for the kids. This weekend I'll pack my final tub of supplies and pray that I can make everything I want to take fit within these six bags. There's the pile of stuff on the bed that I have yet to find the right suitcase for. I am best friends with the scale in our house and am constantly weighing my bags, shifting things around, and trying to find the magic combination of a full, yet light enough suitcase.

Oh the things we do to move!

2 weeks to go...

2009-02-05T16:41:00.003-05:00

It's official, I'm moving to Africa on Feb. 20th.

I find myself living in a world of paradoxes:

I'm excited to begin working with the kids over there (man I miss them!), but I'm heartbroken to have to leave the four princesses in my world (aka my nieces).
I have dreamed of living overseas since college, yet I'm not sure about leaving the comforts of not being a foreigner fumbling around on language and trying to learn a whole new way of life.
It will be sweetly wonderful to renew friendships with my amazing friends and teammates, yet so sad to put an ocean between lifelong friendships here.
I am excited to be part of the "family" that is my team and community there, but will long to be with my family here.

I seriously am so thankful that God truly is a constant in moments like this. He never changes, He's always there (no matter where "there" may be), and I can feel "at home" with Him when nothing else in the world seems like home.

Regardless of the roller coaster of emotions headed my way, I am looking forward to being there...not necessarily all the packing to be done...but it will be quite a moment when I arrive in my new home.

taking it slow...

2009-01-26T15:20:00.003-05:00

Over the past week I have had to slow it down. Now, I don't necessarily see myself as someone who is going all day long at 100 mph. But, not feeling well zaps your energy, and I've found that I have had to slow WAY down these days.

As far as what's making me feel blah...well that's still being figured out, but it looks like something related to my heart. I have had plenty of tests done this past week and still have some ahead of me yet. In the meantime, this is what I've been thinking about, learning, appreciating, and noticing:

I'm thankful to be sick HERE vs. my new home in Africa where I don't know language and I don't know how 'the system' works. Yet, in "my plans", I should have been overseas by now. Hmm...
I'm amazed (but shouldn't be) that God is raising my support for me while I focus on getting better.
I need to be more grateful for the health I do have.
I find that these moments are where 'the rubber meets the road' and my faith is put to the test. Do I TRUST God to be at work in it all? Do I BELIEVE that He will still get me to Africa soon? Am I willing to follow His leading when I feel worn out, uncomfortable, and not my best - or do I cower in fear and let my circumstances dictate my faith? That's a vicious and unhealthy cycle to be in!

I know He's got plans, I know He's got control, and I'm choosing to remember that with every moment where fear tries to rear it's ugly head. In the meantime, I'm doing what I can to keep getting ready for Africa, living in faith of an imminent departure and making those final purchases to pack and take with me. I'm trusting that this too shall pass and it's just a bump in the road as I prepare to move.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL OF YOUR HEART...." - It's time for me to live this one out.

measuring up

2009-01-14T14:25:00.002-05:00

So here's the thing...

I have found that there are 'milestones' that occur in people's lives that help others around them (and sometimes helps themselves) feel like they have grown and matured and are not just an adult, but a successful, well-adjusted adult. Some of these milestones include:

marriage
successful careers
having children
financial stability
independence

Now I sit here and try not to laugh out loud as I realize I have NONE of these 'milestones' in my life. Not really. I'm not married, unlike 80% of my high school and college friends. I'm not a parent, unlike about 40% of my high school and college friends. I live at home right now, so the 'independence' milestone has been taken out of the picture for the moment. As far as a successful career...this one I will say I am at least standing in plain sight of the milestone. I am looking forward to what will come when I move to my new home and ministry. But, who knows how 'successful' I'll be. And financial stability...if I'm faithful to trust in the Lord's provision, then I'm ok. But depending on others' generosity to cover my bills and, dare I hope, SAVINGS...well, that's probably not the most orthodox approach. Yet it's how I've lived since I graduated college.

So, looking at this list, and comparing where I'm at to where my peers are....it is easy to feel like I'm not measuring up. I'm not meeting my potential. I'm 'missing out' or 'falling behind' on LIFE and all it is meant to be.

And then I look at the sentences I just wrote and realize the biggest mistake in them is not grammatical, it's content. "Comparing"....bad idea. Pretty sure there's no verse in the Bible that says, 'Thou shalt measure up according to what everyone else is doing.' However, I do read in 1 Samuel 16:7 that the Lord doesn't look at what everyone else does. He looks at the heart of people. He's not worried about how much money I make or don't make. He isn't concerned about my marital status or what car I drive or the clothes I wear. He concerns Himself with my character. He is more interested in my morality and my affection for Him.

So if He's not going to worry about it, I figure I should probably not worry about it either. I don't have to feel like I have nothing to contribute or that I'm not a 'real' adult because I haven't 'achieved' some of these milestones. Likewise, others don't have to feel like I am a charity case that needs 'fixing' - just find a good husband for this girl and she'll be set. Find her a job with a 'real' paycheck and then she'll really be ok.

The truth is I have all I REALLY need. I have a pretty rich life when I think of the ways God has shown Himself and proven Himself to me over and over. I am more than blessed with the friendships that I have and how each of them love me, speak truth into my life, and enjoy who I am. I have a family that loves me. Believe me, God hasn't given me everything I wanted - but that's probably not a bad thing at all. He's given me what I've needed and that alone is more than gracious of Him.

So, I'm choosing to seek out some new milestones FIRST before any of those others I listed before:

God is first and foremost in my heart and life.
I live and love with a desire to see others around me be blessed and know who God is.
I put God and the needs of others before my selfish desires.

So, here's to not measuring up according to the world and choosing to seek Him first instead. Here's to a gracious God who isn't demanding perfection, but is seeking devotion...I'm pretty sure that's just fine with me.

2009 is here!

2009-01-05T12:16:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's 2009! This year I rang in the new year with good friends, cold weather, hot chocolate, and fun in the mountains with a cabin by the river. It was nice to spend time with good friends and to relax.

I can't help but get excited, overwhelmed, and anxious about the fact that it's JANUARY. For months, I have been raising support, going through trainings, buying supplies, and doing lots of big and little tasks so that I could be moving to Africa in JANUARY. Now that it's here, I find myself still needing monthly support, anxious to buy a plane ticket, and wondering if I'll make it to Africa "in time".

The funny thing is, Africa isn't going anywhere. The world won't end if I get there February 1st. Granted, I have every hope to be there before then, but if I don't make it, it's not the worst that could happen.

So, I fill my days with emails, phone calls, to-do lists, and prayers, hoping and waiting for the Lord to provide and wondering what He has up His sleeve. I've seen Him do crazier things before, so this particular financial need is nothing He can't handle!

Favorite Christmas things!

2008-12-22T12:44:00.002-05:00

Ok, these are my favorite things about Christmas time!! (Why should Dave Letterman be the only one with a "top ten" list??)

1. JESUS - Savior, Redeemer, "reason for the season" - you can't top Deity:-)
2. Mom's chocolate snap cookies - mmm mmm good!
3. Fabulous Christmas music, which includes anything from the Elf soundtrack, Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, or Home Alone soundtrack. And I can't forget my favorite Christmas song ever, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Judy Garland.
4. Great Christmas movies, like: It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Muppets Christmas Carol, and Meet Me In St. Louis.
5. Quality time with my family and watching my nieces open their presents!
6. Looking at the Christmas tree all lit up with all the lights off in the house
7. More great movies like Home Alone, White Christmas, and Miracle on 34th Street.
8. Always wishing for a white Christmas! (maybe one day!!)
9. Driving through town on the "tacky light tour" to see just how ridiculous some people get with their outdoor decorations!
10. Feeling blessed and loved by others and getting a chance to let the people around me know that I love them!

The Morest

2008-12-11T15:58:00.002-05:00

Recently I have been spending more time with my nieces. I think I have seen them more in the past 2 or 3 months than I have over the past year or so. It's been great, and I'm picking up some lessons along the way:

1. "I love you the morest" - Savannah will quickly get into the battle of "i love you....i love you more....i love you the morest". While the grammar queen in me might cringe, the truth is that something so wrong has such a sweet, innocent ring to it, and I love it. I have to think that the Lord might be just as amused when we talk with him. I am often reminded of how much I really don't know, and there are times where I feel super inadequate at saying what I really want to say about Him. But rather than being put out with my ignorance of His depth, I have to think He smiles when my "i love you the morest" moments come out.

2. "I keep falling!" - Jenna has been practicing for her Christmas play at school. When her instructor was choosing which kids to keep in the dance routine, she couldn't help but keep Jenna. She definitely did not choose her for Jenna's graceful moves or perfect timing...Jenna has a little too much of my side of the family in her for that. But every single time she tried something, she would fall, get up, look at her teacher and laugh while saying "I keep falling!" She has no shame, she comfortable with what she does, and she's proud to be in this group. If only I could walk around and feel the freedom this seven year old has of being happy with who she is and her ability (or lack thereof).

Who knew I could look up to these little girls??

my nieces!

2008-11-24T16:55:00.001-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

it's sinking in...

2008-11-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

Signs that moving overseas is starting to sink in:

I have already had to say a few goodbyes to people that I know I won't see before January. This means it could potentially be 2+ YEARS before I see them....weird.
The thought of beginning to pack crosses my mind at least 5 times a day (though I have yet to give in to the thought....I probably should soon).
I have the meager beginnings of a "supplies list" for my ministry, and now have the "oh I need to write that down on the list" eyes whenever I am at Walmart or Target.
I am dreaming of moving, people I know there, or some combination of both at least once a week.
I feel slightly more anxious each week as I raise support, hoping that I'm where I need to be to make it to Africa by January.
I find myself thinking, "How exactly do you move overseas??" a lot - but I have wonderful friends who've done it to help me out:-)
Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching, which means January is not far behind!

It's exciting, a little nerve-wracking, but definitely an adventure....

pursuit

2008-11-04T22:39:00.004-05:00

Well it's election night and the pinnacle evening of change - regardless of the results, we will have a new president and new congress members and America will be different.

As I was driving today and passed polling places around my hometown, I had this thought: Candidates want you to feel like you matter to them; like you are worth a million bucks to them. They want to show your their good side, they want to impress you with promises and statistics and they want to persuade you that your support should be for them. This isn't necessarily good or bad, it's just how it is. They pursue you.

People all want to feel like they are worth being pursued. Maybe it's more of a girl thing than a guy thing, but I think it's safe to say that we like to feel like we are worth the time and effort of pursuing a meaningful relationship. I might be skeptical here, but I think a few months from now, when the hype has died down and some of the newness wears off, the American people might not feel so pursued by their elected leaders.

I instantly think of how God never stops pursuing us. Whether we choose Him or not, He's crazy about us. I am reading a couple of books right now (Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard and White by Ted Dekker) that have kept my mind on this idea of God richly loving us and pursuing us. I especially feel this theme is shown in the Hinds Feet... book. Whenever the main character is in need, she merely calls His name and He's there. He's faithful to teach her, lead her, and love her. When troubles come, she might easily become quick to fear or doubt or lost hope, but it doesn't change the love the Shepherd (God) has for her. He's relentless yet gentle with this love He has for her. He wants her to know that He wants to be in a relationship with her.

And I think of how I must remember that He's crazy about me - more than anything else - if I really want to experience the fullness of His pursuit. If you think about it in human relationships, if a husband pursues his wife and she doesn't value his love for her, then she is missing out. Sure, she might know that he loves her, but she's not dwelling in that love and enjoying it to its fullest extent. She might even be blind to the subtle yet poignant ways that he shows his love because her focus is on something else.

I don't want to miss out on the goodness He has in store for me. And I don't want to forget that He's not gonna let me out of His sight.

How good it is to be pursued....

birthdays

2008-10-27T12:41:00.003-04:00

For the last few years (when I lived in KY), my birthdays became quite an event. Growing up, we celebrated birthdays, but it wasn't much more than a cake and a few simple gifts. But my Louisville friends changed all that. My birthday was celebrated in big ways - Irish meals at Molly Malone's, pumpkin carving parties, costume parties where only 2 people dressed up, painting pottery, and quality time with my friends who treated me like a million bucks.

So, needless to say I didn't really know what to expect for this year's birthday. It is my first birthday without my Louisville community, it's my last birthday in the States for a while, and my first birthday with my family in years! But it has not been a disappointment! This weekend my family came together for my birthday and I was able to celebrate it for the first time with my nieces, who were VERY excited about the birthday cake! My home church commissioned me for my ministry overseas and I was able to be surrounded by people who watched me grow up and consider me to be their kid, too.

My favorite thing about my birthday is how close it is to halloween. Fall is my favorite season, and I love the fun that comes with Halloween and decorating, getting dressed up, giving out candy, and all that jazz! My nieces and I decorated pumpkins yesterday and I love that I get to have moments like that with them during these last couple of months in the states.