whether we like it or not...

It's a new year. The time for resolutions to be made, or renewed, or resurrected from the recesses of our mind where they died about 3 weeks into the beginning of last year.

I myself chose to be a little more proactive in reading Scripture on a daily basis. There are days where I have plenty of time, can sit with the Lord, and really enjoy my time in His word. But, there are other days where I am running around, busy, and my plate feels a little too full. Those are the days that it gets hard for me to crack open my Bible and spend good time with Him.

So, in an attempt to be better at this (and not so I can feel good about myself and call myself a good little Christian, but so I can keep my sanity and stay grounded in truth throughout my day), I have signed up for some daily readings to be sent to my email, in hopes that it would give me some consistency and some guidance.

So, this first batch of readings is focused on prayer, and the other day the passage was from Jeremiah 42. God's people are asking Jeremiah to talk to God on their behalf; they want to ask God for direction, for what to do next.

Verses 4-6 go like this (from the Message):

⁴Jeremiah the prophet said, "I hear your request. And I will pray to your God as you have asked. Whatever God says, I'll pass on to you. I'll tell you everything, holding nothing back."

^5-6They said to Jeremiah, "Let God be our witness, a true and faithful witness against us, if we don't do everything that your God directs you to tell us. Whether we like it or not, we'll do it. We'll obey whatever our God tells us. Yes, count on us. We'll do it."

I read this part, and I'm like, "hey, that's awesome."

Then, I finish the chapter. And the next. Wow.

So, long story short, Jeremiah prays to God, 10 days later, God answers. And it is not the answer the people want to hear. So what do they do? They call Jeremiah a liar and pursue their own way, despite the fact that God warned them about what would happen if they didn't listen to Him.

So as I thought about this, I thought to myself, "How many times have I sat before the Lord, asking for wisdom, discernment, or direction, claiming with my mouth that 'no matter what, whether I like it or not', I'm willing to do what He asks, then I go ahead and choose my own way when I don't like the response?"

Probably more times than I'd like to admit to. It doesn't even have to be something like this story, where He says "dont go here" and I do it anyway. I can choose my own way by continuing to worry about something He's offered to carry for me. Or I can continue to doubt that something will (or won't) happen despite hearing Him say, "I got this one under control."

Going back to Jeremiah, what kills me about this particular story is the message that the Israelites reject. It's not like God said, "Hey guys, you need to suffer a lot, so I am going to make sure the King of Babylon never lets you into your land, and he's probably going to be pretty harsh with you guys, too". THIS is what they rejected (v.9-12):

^9-12He then spoke: "This is the Message from God, the God of Israel, to whom you sent me to present your prayer. He says, 'If you are ready to stick it out in this land, I will build you up and not drag you down, I will plant you and not pull you up like a weed. I feel deep compassion on account of the doom I have visited on you. You don't have to fear the king of Babylon. Your fears are for nothing. I'm on your side, ready to save and deliver you from anything he might do. I'll pour mercy on you. What's more, he will show you mercy! He'll let you come back to your very own land.'

These guys were rejecting promises of protection, provision, and another chance to choose faithfulness and reap the rewards of it. All because, frankly, they weren't ready to "stick it out" like God said. It wasn't what they had in mind. It didn't fit their plan, their idea of how things should pan out, etc. Their hearts were already set on their own way before God ever gave an answer.

Sometimes, the truth of the matter is I am just not ready to "stick it out"; I have my own idea of how my life should be going. It could be something on a smaller scale, like sticking with a workout regiment or healthy eating (because that requires discipline and, heaven forbid, I have to deny MYSELF! sheesh!). It could be on a bigger scale, like sticking it out with living as a foreigner day after day, coming up against all the things that can rub me the wrong way about this culture, this language, this spiritually dark place. I admit that more than once I've approached the Lord with an appearance of humility, asking for help and direction, yet I'm fooling no one - not even myself.

Thankfully, His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. When I have seasons where the "self" is rearing it's ugly head more than I care to see, I feel His gentle nudges of conviction and truth, guiding me to a right heart with Him. If I am praying for wisdom - if I am asking my Maker, the one who set this whole world in motion - for guidance, then chances are His answers will be for my good. I might not like them - I might want to do what the Israelites did and throw a tantrum, saying "no way, that can't be right" - but I can trust them.

And trusting Him is exactly what I need to do the most. There are plenty of things for me to be praying for these days. There are hopes, dreams, problems, heartaches, and brokenness abounding in my prayer life. I pray that I will trust His leading and follow through on it, whether it's:

• comfortable
• convenient
• easy
• what I wanted to hear

or whether it's:

• stretching
• inconvenient
• difficult
• humbling

I want to be able to speak, without hesitation, "Count on me, whatever You say, I'll do". Because ultimately the Lord is growing me, maturing me into a daughter who looks more like her Kingly Father each day. So here's to looking less like a tantrum-throwing-back-in-the-day Israelite, and more like a where-He-leads-I-will-follow daughter.